5 Healthy, Practical Ways to Handle Change

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5 Healthy, Practical Ways To Accept Change

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Life is change.

Even though we know this on an intellectual level, dealing with uninvited changes can often be a struggle for many people. While change is the thing which allows anything and everything to come into existence to begin with, it’s often unwelcome, especially when it comes unexpectedly or at an inconvenient time.

I should know! In the last 12 months, I became a father, moved to a new country, lost my job and started a business. Most of those changes were voluntary, but one of them was not and had negative impacts and consequences for the other three.

I’ve had to learn how to deal with change in healthy ways. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

5 Coping Mechanisms for Dealing with Change

Keep Perspective – Perhaps one of the best ways to deal with change is to take a deep breath and remember to keep things in perspective.

While whatever is happening may seem like a big deal now, will it really matter in 5 years? How about 10 years from now? What about 20?

Looking at the bigger picture has a way of taking what appears to be an unscalable mountain and turning it into a manageable molehill. Don’t freak out. From the moon, even Everest is a speck of dust!

Look at the bigger picture. This isn’t as serious as you think.

Be Present – One of the most torturous elements of change is that our minds go into hyper drive, guessing, predicting, thinking about what might happen, second guessing potential decisions and engaging in an endless game of ‘what if’.

The irony is that none of what is running through our minds is real!

All of this anxiety-inducing mental imagery can be stopped by practicing presence. To do so, simply bring your focus and attention back into the present moment. Don’t allow your mind to wander. Look around you, take a deep breath, center yourself, and realize that 99% of what is running through your mind is merely imaginary.

Remember what Mark Twain said: “I’m an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Recognize that your mind is running away with itself, and bring it back into the present moment, where everything is usually OK.

Accept not Knowing – This is one of the most difficult things for human beings to do. To walk into the future unafraid, knowing that you simply do not know what is going to happen next is very difficult for us to do.

Yet, to use a great analogy, you can drive right across the country from New York to California in the dark, as long as your headlights work well enough to allow you to see the 40 feet in front of you!

You don’t need to know what’s going to happen all the way to the end. Even if you think you do, it likely won’t play out like that anyway. Accept that change has happened and thrown you on an uncharted course, and that you can only see the next few steps at most.

You’ll get where you’re going. Just accept that you don’t necessarily need to know where that is, and you’ll survive.

Practice Right View – The Buddhists have a mental technique known as ‘Right View’.

This technique is used by Buddhists to stamp out mental suffering, which is precisely what change usually brings when it occurs unexpectedly. Right view consists of getting an accurate picture both of how things are, and how things used to be, rather than the exaggerated view our minds tend to cook up and serve.

Have you lost a job? Reflect on how that job had both good and bad sides, and you’ll begin to feel more neutral about losing it.

Have you broken up with a partner? Rather than pining after that person, focus on the fact that they had both good and bad qualities. Don’t just remember all of the good sides, but remember what used to really bug you, too. Reflect on the fact that this new situation of being single has a good side, and that anyone you meet in the future will also have good and bad qualities.

Right view helps you to maintain a balanced and accurate view of things, which can help you get over nostalgia for the past and resistance to both the present and the future.

It helps you see both the good and bad in every situation, person, place, and thing. Your feeling and emotions towards that person, place or thing will then level out and be more balanced.

Connect with Nature – There’s something about nature which has an automatic calming effect on humans.

Whether it be watching the mighty ocean crash onto the shore or wandering through a thick, dense forest, nature has a way of helping us disengage from our rampant, incessant over-thinking, while at the same time helping us recognize and understand that life is so much bigger than we are, and that we are just a part of a mysterious and unfathomable tapestry of staggering complexity and beauty.

This is turn helps us to set aside our problems, accept the change which life has foisted upon us, and accept that even if we don’t like them, there’s not much we can do about it anyway since life and nature are so much bigger and more powerful than we are.

When I face huge problems, connecting with nature brings me a great deal of peace. I take one look at the endless ocean and realize I am a speck of dust blowing around on a rock, or I look at a single 1000-year-old tree and realize that while things seem chaotic and unstable now, life will go on.

Summary

Change is life, and life is change. If the seed didn’t become the stalk of grain, and the grain didn’t become the cereal, and the cereal didn’t break down and become energy, life would not even exist to begin with.

We don’t always like change, but it’s going to happen either way. While we do have the power to bring about change, sometimes change happens due to factors beyond our control and we just have to deal with it.

Using the above techniques, we can better accept and navigate change when it occurs.

Whatever you’re going through, you’ll get through this and a whole new dawn will come. I wish you well.

——–

G writes on Men’s health, fitness and self-improvement at Art of Selfhood. He currently lives in Asia and spends his days writing and raising his family.

You’ve read 5 Healthy, Practical Ways to Handle Change, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


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21 Inspiring Quotes To Launch You Out Of Bed In The Morning

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The Top 21 Inspiring Quotes To Launch You Out of Bed In The Morning

Why is it that a few words put together in a certain order invoke such strong reactions in us?

Is it thanks to history’s greatest authors, philosophers, and orators who are just naturally able to communicate ideas succinctly and vividly?

Largely, yes—but there’s a lot more going on than first meets the eye.

Take a look inside the mind of the average person and you’ll no doubt be confronted by a whole load of negative mental chatter: “I can’t do this”, “I’m a horrible person”, “I’ll never achieve what I want”.

With our inner worlds dominated by self-criticism and self-defeating thoughts, it’s a much welcome relief to hear quotes—or as they’d be considered in Buddhism, ‘affirmations’—that transcend nasty psychological blocks and tap into our core beliefs.

You see, the purpose of affirmations is not to convince you of something—they simply ‘make firm’ something that already exists inside of you which has been obscured by doubts.

To help us bring to light these inner truths, affirmations need to be repeated over and over and over again. In the case of understanding quotes and making sure you put them into action, that means reading them consistently as part of your daily routine.

Spring to life every morning by reading these 21 inspiring and motivating quotes from some of history’s greatest philosophers, authors, and thinkers.

“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.” — Henry David Thoreau

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”—Marcus Aurelius

“Do not say, ‘It is morning,’ and dismiss it with a name of yesterday. See it for the first time as a newborn child that has no name.” —Rabindranath Tagore

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.” —Richard Whately

“Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.” — Elbert Hubbard

“Either you run the day, or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend — or a meaningful day.” —Dalai Lama

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination” —Oscar Wilde

“What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”—Napolean Hill

“Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.” —William Arthur Ward

“Many a false step has been made by standing still.” —Fortune Cookie

“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” —Seneca

“Life is very short for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.” —Seneca

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.” —Jim Rohn

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” —Anthony Robbins

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” —Leonardo da Vinci

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” —Anne Frank

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” —Thomas Jefferson

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” —Farrah Gray

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” —Aristotle

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

Want to take the next step to getting your day off to the best possible start?

Grab your free copy of our new eBook: MORNING MASTERY: The Simple 20 Minute Routine For Long Lasting Energy, Laser-Sharp Focus, and Stress Free Living.

Joseph is a freelance writer, and the co-creator of Project Monkey Mind—a new blog for the 21st century solopreneur and young professional who wants to lead a more free and fulfilling life.

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3 Steps To Stay Authentic And Connected

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3 Ways To Stay Authentic & Connected

how to stay connected

The stresses of modern life and fear of failure can threaten to keep us closed off from our fellow humans at times. Global terrorism, economic collapse and our own personal struggles all do their best to keep us down, to keep us disconnected and unsure of ourselves.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

We all have it in us right now to do good things in this world, to be the source of good emotions for others – to go all in, in every moment and fight the good fight.

Below I’ve highlighted 3 steps you can start work on today to help you become a more open person, who gives off amazing energy to everyone they meet.

  1. Own Your Mistakes

We are all fallible. No matter who you are there’ll be times when you will make mistakes. You will mess up.

The true test however, is how you deal with those mistakes. Because when you take full responsibility and own them, people don’t care, but moreso they see it’s OK to let their guards down too.

Taking full responsibility means you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open. And that is very attractive and authentic to people.

A great technique to help with this is to start reframing your experiences, so that every mistake is simply a way to learn, every failure a step closer to your next win. Once you reframe these mistakes you take control of your world and become so much more clear, carefree and authentic to others.

Remember you alone have total power over how you interpret your experiences. If amazing stuff is happening, it’s because of you. If bad stuff is happening, it’s because of you

Allow yourself to be vulnerable and take responsibility for every emotion and you cannot help but be an authentic and shining light in the world.

  1. Give Truth

Secondly, when you’re talking to people always show them the real you. It will instantly create a connection with that person. Whatever it looks like, share your truth with the world.

If you feel it, express it. If you know 100% what you’re doing is right for you, then that’s all that matters.

Be you.

If you say something that people don’t like or disagree with, so be it. As long as you aren’t actively or purposefully trying to insult or hurt anyone then that’s on them not you. Being authentic and connected is never about ‘people pleasing’.

Plus what you’ll find is that people will always respect you more for that anyway. They may not always like what you say but they’ll like you more than someone who tries to appease everyone for their own gains.

  1. Deny Nothing

You might have already heard the phrase ‘what you resist persists’ before and it is so very true.

You can keep negative emotions balled up inside of you, try and ignore them, but all you’re really doing is keeping that bad energy sustained inside of you. You might not think it’s there because you’ve pushed it so far down. But it is, and it’s going to be like a little gremlin eating away at you over time.

It’s been proven that when people numb pain they don’t just numb that bad feeling – they numb every feeling they have. It’s all connected.

So by numbing the bad energy they’re also taking away all the other amazing emotions and becoming the type of person who is fearful of life, who doesn’t value or invest in themselves and who doesn’t take decisive action on their goals.

So from now on if anything is getting you down just focus on it for a few minutes. Say to yourself: ‘Yes I am feeling this way. It’s really not nice but I need to deal with it. Now.’

Take some time to work through it and believe me it’s amazing how quickly you can release the bad energy once you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to the issues.

Resist nothing and it will ebb away quicker than you imagine.

So make a choice right now. Choose to be open, to be vulnerable to show the world your true authentic self.

And the best thing is, when you do you’ll see that the rewards are plentiful. You show someone the real you and that’s going to give them the courage to do the same. Real connection.

So go all in.

You’ll be so glad you did.

——–

Matt Richards is an expert at helping exceptional people reach the very top levels of success. I show them how to think bigger than they ever have before, set massive goals, and then I help them get there.

My clients work with me because they’re ready to get to the next level. They’re ready to go all in, leave their comfort zone and reach for phenomenal places.

If this sounds like you let’s talk

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3 Opportunities to Expand Your Knowledge And Stop Being Average

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3 Opportunities to Expand Your Knowledge And Stop Being Average

The world around us is getting smarter. Technology has expanded to new measures, and this has brought in new ways to take in new information throughout the world. Whether or not you are long into a career after college or just stepping foot into your freshman year, the world requires us to maintain a near-constant flow of information as new ideas arise.

However, this yields an enormous opportunity for anybody to learn just about anything they want rather easily. Sadly, this opportunity is rarely taken advantage of. Many individuals are comfortable with learning the bare minimum in order to hold down a job or skate through college, and while this is technically acceptable, it seems rather wasteful.

Many studies have uncovered that an individual who strives to continue their learning is one of the more sought-after characteristics when hiring. With this being said, it is vital for us to be motivated in expanding our horizons whenever we get the chance, and I wanted to outline a few ways you can start doing this right now.

Find Expansive Books

Books are an incredible way to expand our horizons, yet many individuals haven’t touched a book since carelessly reading To Kill a Mockingbird in high school. For me, I was turned myself away from books, solely because the books I had read were (for lack of a better word) irrelevant to what I was doing with my life. It was not until rather recently when I finally was able to pick up a book and be actually invested in what it had to offer. Everything from the information in the text to the authors writing style had inspired me and since then I have turned to books as a main source of learning new techniques.

Whether you are attempting to change your daily life habits, or learn new productivity hacks – there are pages among pages of fantastic ways to do so. It is just a matter of finding what is useful to you and applying the knowledge you gain from it to your day-to-day life.

Discover Informational Videos

As technology continues to creep deeper and deeper into our daily lives, video streaming services, like YouTube, are now an incredible option when it comes to expanding our learning.  These services provide a free opportunity for us to learn anything from:  channels giving tips on how to study for a big exam, all the way to quick cooking tutorials.

Another fantastic learning opportunity in the video word is being able to live stream various events. Yes, this has been around for quite some time in the gaming industry, but it has recently become more apparent in politics, lectures, and various webinars. This means we even have the freedom to be virtually face-to-face with influential individuals in just about any scope of learning imaginable.

Start Meaningful Conversations

Along with books and videos, simply starting conversations is massively overlooked in today’s generation. As technology is taking over the communication world, face-to-face conversations are thinning out rather quickly. As much as I hate to say it, I am guilty of this too. There are individuals that I work with who I have never spoken a word to. However, any time a conversation arises I will almost always learn a new way to approach the industry we work in. Try it out.

In Summary

There are numerous opportunities to expand your knowledge beyond the expected levels, and doing so can be a surefire way to impress those around you. Read a book. Watch a video. Stay curious.

 

You’ve read 3 Opportunities to Expand Your Knowledge And Stop Being Average, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


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10 Steps to Living an Amazingly Wonderful Life

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10 Steps To Living An Amazingly Wonderful Life

how to live an amazing life

If given the chance, I’m sure all of us would want to live a wonderful, amazing life, right? Yet, many of us have no clue where to even begin.

It can be overwhelming to admit to ourselves that we are not living our ideal life, and that’s okay. Most of us have something in our lives we’d like to change, but the key to actually changing it doesn’t have to be some big astronomical maneuver.

Instead, real change starts with tiny, baby steps. So, if you’d like to live an amazingly wonderful life, here are 10 small steps you can start now:

  1. Stay Positive

No matter what happens in your life, the more you stay positive, the easier it will be to not only bounce back from life’s struggles, but the more you’ll genuinely be happy. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all are searching for?

So before you start with the negativity, think “Will this thought make me happier?” If not, change it to a more positive one! Stay positive J.

  1. Take Action

Although it’s good to remain positive and think good thoughts, that can only go so far without action. If we truly ever want to change our lives, we must have a plan, no matter how big or small, and ACT on it. If there’s something you’ve been meaning to do or say to someone, do it. The more action we take, the more momentum our lives will gain. Take action!

  1. Respect Yourself

You are never going to have a wonderful life unless you truly respect who you are as a person. Remind yourself of all the reasons you are a wonderful person and deserve your own respect. If it doesn’t come easy, either you’re still in a negative mindset, or you’ve got big changes you need to make in your life. It all beings with respecting yourself.

  1. Be Grateful

It’s easy to get wrapped up in your life and see all of the things you don’t have, but the truth is, if you’re reading this article right now, that means you’ve got many privileges most of the world doesn’t. So when you find yourself frustrated about something you’re lacking, make a list of everything in your life you do have. Whether people or things, you’ve got a lot that’s taking care of you right now. Be grateful.

  1. Seek & Create Opportunities

The world is a magnificently big and wonderful place, and because it’s so big, that means there are countless opportunities waiting for you. So, get off your couch, write down things you want in your life, and go find them. And, hey, if you can’t find exactly what you’re looking for, try using your creativity and create what you want! Seek & Create opportunities!

  1. Forgive

The more we hold onto past grudges, the more we continue to hate, the more we suffer. We place a burden on ourselves more than anyone else and in the end, we only end up hurting ourselves. Take time to understand why you won’t forgive someone or yourself and then after a while, decide that the pain isn’t worth it. It’s time for you to heal, so accept what happened, move on and forgive. You are ready for a new, beautiful life. So forgive.

  1. Be Honest

It’s often hard to stay honest in a world that basically forces you to lie to them. Many people don’t want to hear the truth; they simply want to hear their opinions reflected back onto them. Those people aren’t for you. Surround yourself with people you can be honest around, and most importantly, have the courage to be honest with yourself. Be honest.

  1. Stay True to Yourself

No matter what comes your way, the minute we lose who we are is the minute we miss out on our lives. If you’re struggling with a life that doesn’t fit what you had in mind, that’s okay. We’ve all been there. Take some time away from others and remind yourself of what it is you truly want and what really makes you happy. Stop thinking, start feeling. Listen to your heart and stay true to yourself.

  1. Let Go

If you’re constantly thinking like I am, perhaps it’s time to stop overanalyzing every situation, stop considering every viable option. Stop obsessing over the future and what you need to do in your life. Instead, just take some time and LET GO. Let go of the need to know everything. And take pleasure in the fact that no one has everything figured out. And try to begin to just enjoy the journey. Let go.

  1. Love

Whatever you do, wherever you go, you must remember to bring with you love from within. If you forget everything above and remember one thing, let it be to love. The world will try to make you hard and make you forget what life is truly about, but the more you love yourself and others, the more your purpose in life will be revealed to you. Oh and a little happiness sprinkled in. Okay, maybe a lot!

Ready to live the wonderful life you’ve always dreamed of? Check out Jenn Hudak’s free e-book,7 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams. She is the writer and owner of Thisisforthedreamers.com, a blog focused on motivating and inspiring you to improve your life and live your dreams now!

You’ve read 10 Steps to Living an Amazingly Wonderful Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


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6 Ways a Typical ‘Night Owl’ can become a ‘Morning Person’

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6 Ways a Typical 'Night Owl' can become a 'Morning Person'

how to become a morning person

In many ways the world is split along the lines of Morning people and everyone else. Generally, a “morning person” can be said to be one of those lucky few who are happy, full of pep, and productive in the early hours of the day while you’re still wrestling your snooze button.

Many people will do anything just to make that transition. One of my close friends for instance, has been battling with the seemingly tedious task of transitioning from being a “night owl” to a morning person since last year.

Like I always say; “the night was made for rest, the day for work, and the morning for blessings, creativity and health”. Does that make me a morning person? You could say that. Maybe I am not. But I am one of those people who usually completes fifty percent of their tasks while many people are still tossing on the bed and rubbing their eyes.

I will share a few simple tips that anyone can follow to make that vital transition. With them, you can change from being a night owl, or just a heavy sleeper to becoming a person who maximizes his/her mornings.

  1. Plan Your Morning before the Day

The Morning is the most beautiful time of the day. It is a serene and peaceful time. It can also be a very profitable time, but at the very best it is still just time. Time by nature flies and can be up before you even know it has begun.

Taking a few minutes at night to put together the things you will need to do the next day, will reduce the rush in the morning. It also gives your subconscious mind ample time to work on those tasks, and give you ideas on how to go about them. Most importantly, it will give you time to get your act together before leaving the house.

Get your gym bag together. Ready your bike. Pack your office suitcase, and pick out your attire. This way you can devote the morning to exercise, meditation and prayers, time with the family at the breakfast table, and even catch a TV show before the rat race begins.

  1. Use the Night for its true Purpose

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Ben Franklin

Sleep at any time has a great deal of benefits. But the benefits of a good night’s sleep cannot be overemphasized. The night was made for only one purpose and that is to rest. The day winds down into darkness, and expects you to follow.

On the average, an adult needs between 7.5 and 8 hours of sleep per night. “But many people can function with 6 hours’ sleep, and there also some who need 9 hours or more,” says Sudhansu Chokroverty, MD, professor and co-chair sleep medicine at the New Jersey Neuroscience Institute at JFK Medical Center in Edison, N.J.

  1. Handle Hangovers the Proper Way

Early morning hangovers can be very distressing. The best way to handle them is to avoid them altogether. Don’t drink so much alcohol late at night. Better still; keep away from it as much as you can.

If for some reason however, you consume enough alcohol to cause you a hangover in those precious hours of the morning, don’t panic. The smart thing to do is to explore potent medicinal ways of dealing with hangovers, so you can get on with your day on time.

  1. Maximize Your Day; Free up your Nights

A lot of people prefer to work at night. From writers to internet marketers, the night season appears to be the most productive time of the whole day.  As a night worker, you could get great results. However, you may have to waste your early mornings.

The simple thing to do here is to work out a routine that allows you to cover more during the day. This means your nights get freer. Indirectly, it kills the risk of you being a grumpy, red eyed father, neighbor or spouse.

Imagine being able to wake your kid up each morning and prepare him for school. How about having a go at another round of sex with your wife? Or you could just spend time talking, planning, or praying.

  1. Make Hitting “Snooze” a Little Harder

A lot of times in the past, I set the alarm clock with the best of intentions. But when it eventually rang, it always seemed to have gone off a little sooner than I was ready to rise. Over the years luckily, I have cured myself of that snoozigitis disease. But it took a lot of discipline, and practice.

If you want to do the same, simply keep your alarm clock somewhere farther from your bed stand, perhaps on a cupboard or something. The idea is to make sure that to hit the snooze button; you have to get out of bed.

  1. Rethink Mornings

If you don’t have a rethink about mornings, you will still not maximize them. Mornings are the best part of the day. It presents you with a period when there are few sounds outside, no yelling children, no nagging wife or husband, and no neighbors blasting music from their stereos. But until you think so and believe so, you will still remain sluggish in the mornings.

So what was that excuse you gave for not being a morning person?

You’ve read 6 Ways a Typical ‘Night Owl’ can become a ‘Morning Person’, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


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6 Reasons Why Being a Nice Person is Not Good Enough in Life

You’re reading 6 Reasons Why Being a Nice Person is Not Good Enough in Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

6 Reasons Why Being a Nice Person is Not Good Enough in Life

how to have great relationships

1) You need to go all out for what you want in life

I remember talking to a friend who was really into this girl. He didn’t do a thing to get to know her, but instead lamented to me about how she was dating another guy, who didn’t seem worthy to him and that he was a nice guy. He wondered why she didn’t like him.

So I told him, “But you didn’t dare to even talk to her!”

Being nice is never good enough. Nobody owes you a darn thing!

You can’t simply be a nice person and then sit around on your butt. You don’t gain what you want from “karma points” or whatever.

If you want something, you go for it. No excuses. You do what it takes. You can’t expect life to be handed over to you just because you’re nice.

2) Being nice is not part of healing

These words resonated with me so much. I can be a very angry person and I was talking to a friend about my anger issues. I repeatedly told him about how I was still a nice guy and didn’t get in trouble with the law.

He then said, “Being nice is not part of healing.”

It made me realize how we all seem to mistake that being a nice person is all that takes to heal our problems and iron out our issues.

Yes, being nice will not cause additional problems, but it’s not enough if you really want to heal. You have to look deep within, start being brutally honest with yourself and pinpoint the start of healing specifically.

3) People simply don’t care

I was once taught by a business coach, “Teachers don’t get paid the most. Entertainers do.”

That said, being popular today seems to be arguably more important than being nice.

So again, you can’t get what you want in life if you’re only nice. You have to play the game right.

Ask yourself, what can you do so you can present yourself to be nice to the masses instead of just one person? How can you make people care? How can you get their attention?

4) Sometimes, you can’t be a nice person at all

Why be nice to somebody who is completely toxic to you? Why say yes all the time? You do know that you can start say no right?

At some point in life, you need to start caring for yourself, and in turn be nice to yourself first and foremost. You need to start being selfish so you can take care of yourself.

Dump the toxic people. Say no when you have to. Reject others. Stand up for yourself! You’ve to earn others’ respect.

And you can’t do that if you’re a pushover.

5) Because life is a mystery

Everyday, in the news, we read about all the bad things happening in the world.

Innocent people get hurt. Good people die for seemingly no reason. Nice people are treated badly by bad people.

Why? Who knows? Because life is a mystery. That is a fact.

We can’t ever filter reality. Life has ups and then it has downs. People feel high and then low at times.

This isn’t to say that we should lead a paranoid life though. It simply means we need to acknowledge that in the grand scheme of things, this is how life works.

We shouldn’t argue over it then. Just be happy your own way and live life the way you want.

6) You don’t stand out if you’re only nice

Think about it: Almost everybody is nice today.

What do you think of somebody when you’re told, “Oh yeah. He’s a nice person.”

And that’s it.

I mean, it’s good to be nice, but that doesn’t mean you’d stand out.

Why not be: Charismatic, talented, funny, eloquent, spontaneous or intelligent?

And you know what? You got it in you. Let it out! don’t be shy. Don’t play safe by being nice only!

 

Just for Pick The Brain readers

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Alden Tan is a passionate breakdancer and writer. He writes about honest and real self-improvement without the bullshit. Get his free book already!

 

 

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Top 21 Confucius Quotes to Unlock Your Inner Wisdom and Deal With the Stress of Modern Life

Top 21 Confucius Quotes to Unlock Your Inner Wisdom and Deal With the Stress of Modern Life

Do ever feel like something is missing from modern life?

Like maybe there is an ancient wisdom that is incredibly important in the human journey, and that we’ve might have lost touch with it?

Sometimes when we read the quotes of great men and women, particularly from thousands of years ago, we realize that they weren’t all that different from us.

Their words can remind us that when we peel back the layers of culture – the internet, fast food, media, materialism, and the corporate lifestyle, there is still a lot to learn from people and philosophies of the past.

One of the greatest philosophers of all time, Confucius, has influenced culture in the East and West more than we can ever know. You may be surprised at how relevant some of his wise words are today, even with the drastic difference between our cultures and his own.

Here are 21 quotes of his that will help you unlock your inner wisdom and better handle the challenges of modern life.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” – Confucius

“Roads were made for journeys, not destinations.” – Confucius

“A common man marvels at uncommon things. A wise man marvels at the commonplace.” – Confucius

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” – Confucius

“Our greatest glory is not never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” – Confucius

“Everything has a beauty, but not everyone sees it.” – Confucius

“Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society.” – Confucius

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

“The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does.” – Confucius

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius

“He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions.” – Confucius

“To see what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.” – Confucius

“The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.” – Confucius

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” – Confucius

“The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for lifetime.” – Confucius

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” – Confucius

“Respect yourself and others with respect you.” – Confucius

“What the superior man seeks is in himself is what the small man seeks is in others.” – Confucius

“The man who says he can, and the man who says he cannot…are both correct” – Confucius

———-

Attention Pick the Brain Readers! I hope you enjoyed this post.

As a thank you for reading this post, I want to offer you a free copy our new eBook:

MORNING MASTERY: The Simple 20 Minute Routine For Long Lasting Energy, Laser-Sharp Focus, and Stress Free Living.

Ben is a freelance writer, and the co-creator of Project Monkey Mind—a new blog for the 21st century solopreneur and young professional who wants to take control of their minds, smash through their limitations, and lead a life worth living.

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Mindfulness and Meditation: Why training our minds is just as important as training our bodies

Mindfulness and Meditation: Why training our minds is just as important as training our bodies

importance of meditation

Last year, I went through a hard time. I was consumed by work, stressed out and felt dangerously close to burning out. After noticing that I was in the midst of a rough patch, a friend recommended that I try meditation. Being both an atheist and a little cynical, I was skeptical. To me, meditation conjured up ideas of ethereal Buddhists, or the eccentric monks that dance jubilantly through central London, handing out leaflets about spirituality to sullen City workers. It felt a little incongruous to my 21st century working life.

I’ve always been into sport – exercise is a great way to stay healthy and burn off stress. My friend made a good point: he asked me why I invest so much in my physical fitness but not my mental fitness. I said that it’s not a matter of neglect; it’s more a lack of understanding of how and what I can do to improve it.

So I put my preconceptions aside and decided to give it a shot – and truly, meditation changed my life. Now I want to tell you how it can change yours. (No orange robes required.)

Meditation & mindfulness
Meditation goes hand in hand with mindfulness. Bemindful.co.uk’s definition of mindfulness captures the essence pretty well: “Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations.” Training mindfulness through meditation helps us to deal with our thoughts, emotions and challenges more productively.

Practicing meditation cultivates mindfulness. If you think about it, it’s exercise for the mind. We’re all aware of the benefits of physical exercise (improved fitness, stress release and an increased lifespan), but we neglect the exercise we can do for our mind. In the short-term, meditation relaxes us. In the longer-term, it aids mindfulness, boosts our concentration levels and listening skills, helps us to manage stress, and clarifies our thought process, fostering better decision-making and leadership skills.

It is not just the case that people feel different because of meditation – it actually changes their brain structure. The more people meditate, the more their brain changes. Meditation experts show a higher density of nerve connections in the the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain linked to executive functioning and attention. More brain power equals more computation power. A second indicator of higher attention is brain wave activity in monks. Their baseline level of gamma waves – waves associated with attention – is higher than that of a normal adult during rest, and markedly higher during meditation.

Furthermore, Harvard Medical School recruited novices and trained them how to meditate on their own. The novices meditated for about 30 minutes per day on average for 8 weeks. Neuroimaging studies showed the thickening in four brain regions that play a role in emotion regulation, memory, learning and empathy. The practice of meditation changes the brain’s structure in experts and novices alike.

My first attempts at meditation were difficult. I found it difficult to switch off, finding that my brain flooded with thoughts as soon as I tried to silence it. However, don’t let this discourage you – the initial struggle to ‘switch off’ is a very natural part of the meditation teething process. I stuck with meditating for ten minutes per day, and within three weeks I really began to see the difference.

I was less stressed and I was sleeping better. I also started pausing before dealing with situations. This was really put to the test when my boiler broke down and a pipe burst in my living room in the middle of January. I got home and soaked my feet on the carpet. But before breaking down in a fit of anger, I stopped, took in what had happened and started to think about a solution. I may have kicked over a chair in frustration, but at least I spent some time contemplating it first.

Meditating boosted my mindfulness and improved my mental state, helping me to get through a tough time at work. I’ve now been meditating for just over six months, and the difference to my professional life is marked: I’m a better leader, better listener and better task manager.

Get meditating!
It sounds terribly cliche, but meditation really is about the journey. I mean, you wouldn’t give up on running after your first run because your calves hurt, would you? Similarly, don’t expect to be a master meditator after one meditation.

Start small. Meditate for one minute per day. Sit up straight and look straight ahead – eyes closed or not. Start by observing your breath. Slowly inhale, hold your breath for a second and exhale. Count to 10 with your breaths and start again. Repeat this for about a minute. Headspace have an awesome app that offers a free introductory course to meditation.

The most important thing about meditating is to get into a routine – like you would do when taking up a new sport or exercise. Try meditating in the morning or evening.

Flex your mental fitness
Like any new hobby, starting is the hardest part. But trust me – this one is worth it. Throw away any preconceptions you have about ascetic, bald-headed monks and drumming in the street. Practising meditation and training mindfulness have real benefits that you can see in all aspects of your life.

Treat your mind like your body: train it, stretch it and improve it. Start flexing your mind’s muscles. Get started today.

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44 Ways Being Active Makes You Live a More Happier and Meaningful Life

44 Ways Being Active Makes You Live a More Happier and Meaningful Life

top happiness quotes

“Happiness is a state of activity.”―Aristotle

You know that feeling you get of having sporadic moods circulating throughout the day but usually the darker and grayer emotions have a tendency to consume you the most? I am talking about the sad, gloomy, and depressed feelings you wish to swat away.

One side of you depends on the thought of maybe perhaps being in a happier place and waiting for life to somehow change your current situation for the better. While, the other side of you is certain that this will be a recurring feeling that you will not dig yourself out of and living a calm and significant life is not within your reach.

Your mind is powerful that it controls your perception on life, however, what if you were able to ease the mind, allow it to decompress, reset itself, and change your perception so that you live a significant and more meaningful life?

Moving or being active is synonymous with the physical effect of life. Active can be defined as engaged in action, motion, or quite simply being in the state of existence. But regardless of the evident, being active actually develops a synchronization of both your physical and mental state, that if used together this harmonious act will reward you, exponentially and alter your mindset, into a path of pure bliss and happiness.

And as you’re probably aware, life is exhausting as it is. Worn out with your usual daily regimen. Anything involving you being active might seem as a daunting or intimidating task. However, the effects of an active body manifests into a positive and supportive habitat for your mind and perception on life.

The 44 reasons below will serve as awareness to the profound benefits of being active, simply by being active is the bare minimum to discovering the potential connection and integration between the body and mind.

1) It showers you in self-gratification. The thought of overcoming physical limitations or seeing incremental results from an active lifestyle goes a long way in boosting your confidence and overall self appreciation, that’s vital for a positive outlook.

2) Embedding a schedule and an importance around being active adds structure to your life by developing an understanding of what it means to commit yourself to something meaningful and reapplying it into other areas of your life.

3) It removes you from life’s worries. When you’re exercising, jogging, or performing any form of activity there’s no time to bring your worries with you. The only thing you focus on is the task at hand.

4) Staying active trains you to participate in other endeavors. You’re happy when you healthy. When you can attend a sporting activity with friends, go out and enjoy a day with your significant other or simple engage in play with you kids or grand-kids, life becomes more enjoyable.

5) In the process of being active you acquire humility and you respect your limitations. Your body has limitations and while you goals for activeness might range from moderate to difficult, you will understand when you have plateaued. Its great to reach your limits only to scale back and push even further the next go around.

6) You acquire a determination to set goals for yourself, resist temptations, and take action. These are all are traits learned through the commitment of being active and helps acquire self-control.

7) Being mobile is fun, enjoyable and full of lighthearted pleasures. By wholeheartedly absorbing all the delights that an active lifestyle can offer, you tap into utilizing all of your senses and reward your health by doing something that makes you feel young again.

8) It allow you to concentrate and stay mentally sharp for any tasks at hand through mobility and activeness, in addition to creating growth of new brain cells and the prevention of age-related decline.

9) An increase in energy levels and mental sharpness are both outcomes of being active, which in turn boosts productivity.

10) Integrating a mobile lifestyle helps control your addictions. Your brain experiences a chemical reward when you exercise and increases dopamine production, the same chemical drugs or other addictions secret. This special chemical plus exercise will help rebuild toxic damage to your brain and help gear you in the right direction in life.

11) Staying active enhances your creativity. There’s a strong correlation between creative expression and your well being, mainly in the form of thinking more broadly on possible solutions versus fixating on just individual pieces. This increase in solutions gives a sense of possible outcomes in life that creates substantial happiness.

12) The effort you put into being consistent by being active teaches you how to you stay focused. That same focus you acquire can be translated into other desires and aspirations that are of value to you.

13) Small steps or drenched in sweat, starting is the first step and the gradual shift in your body over time improves your body image. Positive body image is linked to positive self-image, self-confidence, and love. However, during this process you also learn to appreciate all of your capabilities and accept your imperfections as well.

14) It uplifts your mood. When you are active, not only do you release stress, but you take a proactive approach to your health and wellness. This conscious effort of self determination and success is linked positive emotions.

15) Good moderate exercising prevents you from getting ill. It works on a number of scales but generally physical activity help your body’s immune system cells fight diseases. Knowing how secure you are and the level of protection you have keeps you healthy and happy and wildly energetic to enjoy all of life’s pleasures.

16) Being active boosts your appetite which in turn assists with becoming reacquainted with proper eating habits and the enjoyment of eating. By making a conscious effort in staying healthy you eat the right foods that compliment the right brain chemistry for an optimal mental health.

17) You learn how to live like a kid again. Usually when you think of a child the first thought that comes to mind is of one running up and down as a ball of energy. You work your way to become nimble and exercising again connects you to your youth and makes you feel young again.

18) Energy increases while you’re groggy tireless old self decreases which lessens your feeling of fatigue. The more energy to release the more you can do what you love.

19) Being healthier is correlated to increases in sex drive and satisfaction in life. The following are just some of the benefits of a have a healthy sex life and its correlation to happiness: stress relief, it is an emotional process, it keeps your hormones balanced, and keeps you connected to instinctual human behavior.

20) Increases your endorphins. When you’re being active you let out stress. In return your brain releases endorphins or feel-good emotions.

21) An active body requires a spacious area. Going out to release some energy allows you to embrace nature, which may soothe the mind and research proves that it changes the complexity of your mind in ways that improve your mental health.

22) It integrates the mind with the body. There is a loving and harmonious relationship between the two that is beautiful. One compliments the other and most of what is physically accomplished is done so with the integrity of your mind.

23) Adding a dedicated hobby like running or jogging can change the dull routine in your life, add an interesting dynamic, which in turn makes life more invigorating.

24) Physical intervention can sharpen your memory. There a strong connection with good memory being more optimistic, more hopeful about life, and more confident.

This in turn allows you to cope with problems and adjust to situations both professionally and with relationships.

25) You mark a baseline of acceptance and you appreciate where you’ve came from to be where you want to be.

26) It alleviates anxiety. Physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people.

27) Have you noticed how irritable life is when you don’t get the amount of rest you would like? There are many adverse physical effects that are attributed to lack of sleep, even more so, sleep quality is the single most influential factor in rating your mood. The effort in being active will improve your sleeping patterns.

28) It can reduce stress. Being active benefits mental health by allowing the brain to cope better with stress and anxiety.

29) How would it feel if you could get through your day in a physically easier way? Exercise and active will supplement you with strength, cardiovascular fitness and agility so that life’s challenges become easier.

30) It gives you an abundance of energy. There’s energy inside of you. Even as you go deep into the workings of your atoms, it is just energy waves. Exercising gives off energy inside of you that contributes to liveliness and spiritedness.

31) It helps reduce feelings of depression. Exercise boosts your outlook by helping you return to meaningful activity and providing a sense of accomplishment.

32) Activity is critical for cognitive functioning which nurtures your brain to stay fit.

33) Rallying others to join you is not difficult since it can also be beneficial to them. Working out together in a social gathering will only strengthen your social networks, which is shown to make you feel fortunate to have others that want to spend their time with you.

34) You grow a feeling of certainty in life and you know you will be fine no matter what.

35) The feeling of reaching your goals, surpassing what you once believed was a physical limitation and have the sense of accomplishments steadily builds your self-esteem.

36) Prevents cognitive decline. As you age, your brain also starts aging. Your brain shrinks, which loses many important brain functions in the process. An active body fights and protects against a brain under cognitive decline.

37) Your dedication can inspire others and promote social awareness. Your pursue of physical enlightenment does not happen in a bubble. Studies have also shown that social backing increases the odds of both commitment and peer inspiration.

38) It’s never easy to stay with a program, let alone a program or regimen that involves stressing your body. However this constant approach of staying with a fitness schedule teaches you to withstand adversity and reinforces your resilience.

39) The ability to start a routine, adjust to the physical stress and get acclimated gives you the determination to continue pushing further in life and break new boundaries, which builds and cultivates adaptation.

40) It eliminates your dependency on external rewards. You soon discover a new appreciation for your health, your happiness and with what is relevant in your life today.

41) Adaptation and gaining knowledge through active movements harnesses your learning abilities. Being engaged in doing and learning new things coincide with the uptick in your well-being and sets forth your contentment.

42) You appreciate your successes rather than compare it to the accomplishments of others. Rather than observe and try to compare yourself to what others have accomplished you become truly satisfied with your own accomplishments and tap into your self-worth.

43) By stressing the body by means of exercise and activeness, you raise the quality of your life. Your breaths become deeper, outlooks are clearer, and you have a revitalizing and refreshing new aspect to your life.

44) You gain more mental resilience. Keeping up with a physical regimen and the effort that goes along with it isn’t an easy feat. The more you push yourself physically, the tougher you become mentality, which toughens your mental adaptability for other situation life hands to you.

Now if you’re currently living an active life, great! Continue and enjoy the subtle changes but if you’re not, just know this…it’s not so much the amount of effort but the start of it that is important, be consistent and the rest will follow.

You will gradually work closer to establishing an enlightenment and well-being in your life. It all starts with working on small incremental changes that have lasting effects.

Reward your body and it will reward your mind.

———-

Jesse helps you become a better version of yourself by simplifying your health and fitness goals using science-backed data. Check out his free ebook: The Minimalist Guide to Fitness Hacks.

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