Simple But Powerful Visualisations To Find Your Purpose In Life

Simple But Powerful Visualisations To Find Your Purpose In Life

What s the meaning of life?

How can you be happy and successful?

What is my purpose here?

Everyone tells you that if you want to live a happy life, all you need to do is follow your passion.

Sounds like a piece of cake, right? And for some of us, it’s quite clear. But for the majority of folks I know, discovering their passion in life is a challenge on its own.

It’s not enough we need to juggle all of life’s nuances, but we need to be on a constant quest to discover what’s the ONER thing we came here to do.

It’s a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?

At least it was for me – I went back and forth the things I think I’m good at, the things people tell me I’m good at, what my hearts desires, what the world needs…..and so on…..and I could never arrive at a certain decision what my passion really is.

Until I read a book on yoga, called the Living Gita.

There are many golden nuggets in this book, but one of the things it helped me do is discover my passion and purpose in life through a simple but powerful visualisation.

How To Discover Your Purpose In Life

I’ll give it to as it’s in the book, but feel free to imagine a different situation if that’ll make it more believable for your mind:

Imagine you go to an ashram (a spiritual hermitage or a monastery in Hinduism) to elevate your spirituality. (In my visualisation, this was a community that was away from civilisation, basic and new, like a huge camp). You expect to spend all your days meditating and praying, serving the guru and selflessly completing every task.

But time passes and you need to fill your days. At first, meditating might be enough for you, but as time goes by you feel the need to do something.

If you’re an accountant, you’ll start keeping track of the ashram’s accounts.

If you’re a chef, you’ll be compelled to work in the kitchen.

If you’re a doctor, you’ll start healing people.

Not because you must, but because you feel a natural disposition to do this things. You’ll feel compelled to whatever your passion is.

Imagine this ashram (or camp), imagine yourself living there.

What do you do? What do you naturally start doing and what you can’t imagine yourself doing?

This is your purpose in life.

You might find out that this is something you’re naturally good at. That shouldn’t be a surprised. We’re naturally good at what we’re meant to do in life (makes sense, right?). So the thing that you’ll happily devote your time in this ashram is what your life needs to be devoted to in reality.

What I Discovered With This Visualisation Exercise

First, it’s okay to have more passions than one. In my visualisation I was writing, making jewelry and decoration from natural and recycled materials, I was teaching and taking care of children, and I was helping others. There was no one good answer and that’s okay. We, people, are complex creatures and it’s okay to have more than one shades of why we’re here. Even the tree has many jobs – to shade, to be a home, to create oxygen….You’re a human! Don’t limit yourself.

Second, all of those passions were with me since I was a kid. When I had them clearly identified, I saw that since I was a little kid I was naturally compelled to these things. I wanted to write and won poetry contests. I was drawing clothes and jewelry designs when I was 6. It just felt clear all of a sudden, it was all there in the first place!

Third, I’m rather a follower than a leader, and that’s okay. I was always an entrepreneurial spirit and I though that my ultimate mission in life is to create my own business. However, in my visualisation I wasn’t organising and leading, but helping the leader achieve his vision. This was an eye-opener for me. Now I know I might never start MY own big business, but I am okay with that. Everyone has an important role.

What will come up in your visualisation?

I can’t wait to see you comments!

If this simple exercise for discovering your passion in life is something you dig, you should check out the Happiness Workbook for more (it’s free and really hilarious at times).

Antonia Zorluer is a designer, writer and content marketer. She writes for businesses at work and for pleasure at her personal happiness blog mintyhideout.com where you can find inspirational stories and tips on using writing for a better life. She loves to connect and talk happiness and writing on Twitter and Google +. 

The post Simple But Powerful Visualisations To Find Your Purpose In Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

7 Warning Signs You’ll Never Get Over Your Breakup

sad

You thought this would never happen to you.

You thought it was forever, but it was a lie.

You still think he’s the one. You still see the sweet, romantic guy you fell in love with.

But things had changed so much. Suddenly, he wants nothing to do with you.

You’ve never felt pain like this.

Your heart aches so badly. You can’t even breathe.

You just want to hold him in your arms, but he’s not there anymore.

You don’t want this to end.

You wake up wishing each day it’ll be different, but it’s not. And it won’t ever be.

He Moves On, And You’re Left Devastated

You still remember how he confessed to you. How he loved you. How he wanted to start a life with you.

In the matter of days, he felt different. You’ve become a stepping stone to him.

You don’t understand. How can people go from “You’re the best thing in my life” to “I don’t love you anymore” so quickly?

It’s heartbreaking to see him living his new life. He’s changed so much. Perhaps he already met someone else.

You feel sadness, rage, and the greatest sense of betrayal.

You gave all yourself to someone who said he was in love with you. Now he says he feels nothing. He never really loved you.

He isn’t even in the slightest emotional distress.

Meanwhile, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep.

You can’t believe how someone can just switch off and move on, while you’re left here alone, devastated.

How is this fair to you?

7 Warning Signs You’re Not Getting Over Your Ex

After a painful breakup, most people try to do things they think will ease their pain, when in fact they’re sabotaging their own chances of recovery.

If you’re not getting over a breakup, you’ll see many telltale signs hinting that something is wrong.

Here are 7. See if any describe you:

1. You Are Desperate To Get Him Back

You’re scared that without him, you’ll be alone forever. You’re scared that you’ll never find the same happiness again.

So you become desperate. You want him back.

You keep calling and texting him. You tell him how much you love him, how miserable you are without him.

You hope he’ll pity you and return to you.

You know you should let him go. But it’s impossible to let go of someone you love so deeply, just like that.

You need to know this.

The broke up happened for your own benefit. It offers you an opportunity to grow.

Try cutting off all contact with him for a month. It’s not about giving him up. It’s about learning something.

You need to learn to live your life without him. You need to learn to be happy without him.

You will eventually understand that you don’t need him to be happy.

You don’t have to let him go if you don’t want to. But at least, give yourself the chance to grow as a person.

2. You Hang On To Old Memories

You keep thinking about Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and every special day in your life.

You look at old pictures of you and him together.

You see him everywhere, even in your dreams.

You can’t remember what you did with yourself on those days, when you were single.

Whenever you feel like you’re getting over it, you take two steps backward. You end up spending days and nights crying over it again, like it had just happened.

You miss what you had together. It’s hard to let that go.

You’re reminiscing old times with reverie, as if everything was perfect.

But in reality, your relationship had its fair share of highs and lows.

Try to remember the bad of the relationship. The point isn’t to cultivate hatred, but to remind yourself that the relationship wasn’t as perfect as you imagined.

3. You Keep Checking Up On Him

You go to sleep each night wondering what he might be doing after he stopped talking to you.

So you turn to the internet, checking up his profiles on social media.

You saw his pictures. You read what he’s saying to his new girlfriend.

And then, all your feelings for him resurfaced, as though everything happened yesterday.

You’re heartbroken, once again.

You want to not care, because it upsets you so much. But you find yourself checking and then checking some more. You’re addicted.

Fight your curiosity. Whenever you want to check on him, pause. Breathe deeply, and consider the consequences.

Delay the check for as long as you can. The impulse will gradually dissolve.

4. You Blame Everything On Yourself

Since the breakup, you’ve been searching for comprehension.

Why did this happen to me?

Your mind is on overdrive. You begin to scrutinize everything you did.

You’re sure it is because of something you’ve done.

You must be lacking something. The breakup is the proof. Why else would he have broken up with you?

But isn’t it quite extreme to think that everything happens because of you?

Maybe he broke up with you because of his circumstances, not because of anything you did.

Maybe you’re carrying a burden that isn’t even yours.

Investigate how exactly you single-handedly ended the relationship. Think objectively and logically. Often you’ll see that you’re not the only one at fault.

If you did make a mistake, address it. Learn from it, and vow to change yourself. Try your best not to repeat the same mistake again.

5. You Distract Yourself Constantly

You can’t stop thinking about him. Your mind won’t give you a break.

So you try to numb yourself by staying busy. Because you know when you slow down, you’ll succumb to total despair.

If you smother your emotions, your wound won’t heal. It’ll continue to grow on you. Worst, you’ll carry the pain into your relationships with other people.

Pause. Sit down, close your eyes, and let the feeling resurface. Delve into it rather than avoiding it.

Don’t resist your pain. Cry if you want to. It’s natural to cry when you feel sad. It’s how humans release and neutralize their emotions.

Contemplate why you feel a certain emotion. Examine the roots of your pain, and find ways resolve it.

Do this, and you’ll free yourself from the shackles of emotions.

6. You Lose Hope In Love

You wonder if love really exists.

No one is loyal. No one tries to commit. People move on far too easily.

You were loyal. You tried. You had nothing left to give. But it didn’t work.

Now, you can only see hopelessness and betrayal.

Think about your family. Think about your friends. Think about the people you meet every day.

These people are just as precious as the love you lost. Don’t forget to cherish them the way he forgot to cherish you.

The world is full of loyal and unconditional love. Open your eyes, and see the love that exists in your world, and in your future.

7. You Fall From Grief Into Depression

In post-breakup grief, you often experience surges of anxiety, anger, sadness and irritation. This is normal. And you’ll recover with time.

But some people might cross the line and go into clinical depression.

You think you’ll stay miserable forever.

You feel like your life is over. You have nothing to live for anymore.

You struggle to do the simplest things, like getting dressed and taking a shower.

You can’t get out of bed. It feels like torture. You only want to lie down and stare into space.

If you have these symptoms, you may have fallen from grief into depression.

Depression is a serious condition. It destroys your relationships, career and even your entire life. If you have doubts, it’s a good idea to consult a mental health professional.

How To Heal A Wound That Won’t Stop Bleeding

Surviving a breakup is not easy. After all, it’s the emotional equivalent of a bleeding wound.

When you’re physically injured, you’re often told by the doctor to take care of the injury and give it time to recover.

Emotional injury is the same. It needs time and care. Give yourself time, watch out for warning signs, and treat it with care.

This is not the end. When the wound heals, you still have a life.

You still have a future.

Because of this breakup, your future relationships will be better than what you had.

Because of this breakup, you will have learned how to love yourself.

Because of what you’ve gone through, you’ll be happier than ever before.

So don’t despair. Because this too, shall pass.

I promise you.

———-

Blon Lee is a Chinese Buddhist who helps people conquer stress, anxiety, depression and reach enlightenment. Follow his blog and learn how to become truly happy.

The post 7 Warning Signs You’ll Never Get Over Your Breakup appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

5 Reasons Not to Accept Yourself As You Are

5 Reasons To Not Accept Yourself As You Are

Should you love yourself as you are? Yes. You should absolutely love yourself no matter where you are in relationship to your goals. You should love yourself whatever your relationship status is. You should love yourself and your physical appearance. You should love yourself regardless of your background or financial situation. The suggestion that anybody should judge themselves on any of these subjects or judge anybody else is absolutely offensive and it encourages absolutely abhorrent behaviors. The next question is this. Should you accept yourself as you are? Maybe not. Unfortunately, self-acceptance isn’t always about loving yourself and having a good self-esteem. Here are 5 reasons that you should not accept yourself as you are.

  1. When Self Acceptance Really Means Unwillingness or Inability to Grow

All too often, when people speak of accepting themselves as they are, they really mean that they are unable or unwilling to grow. If that sounds familiar, try replacing acceptance with happiness. Are you happy with yourself? If the answer is no, then there is no reason to use self-acceptance as an excuse to stay where you are. If you aren’t sure how to make the changes you need to make, or don’t have the tools to make the changes you need, you can focus on getting the help you need to move forward.

What’s most important is to stop using self-acceptance as a means to stagnate. 

  1. When Self-Acceptance is a Denial of The Need to Change

In other cases, self-acceptance is used as a way to justify where a person is, and deny that they need to make any changes. This is often where the love of self is a better approach than self-acceptance. It could be that you need to make changes for your physical or emotional healthy, but you can also love yourself in the meantime in spite of the things you need to work on. 

  1. When Self Acceptance is The Inability to Take Responsibility

In order to grow and make positive changes, you have to take responsibility for yourself and the situation that you are in. Stating that you accept yourself as you are is often just a demonstration that you are unable to take that responsibility or that you are unwilling to take that responsibility. If you find yourself not taking on the basic responsibilities that others in your age group are handling, it may be time to consider that this form of self-acceptance is a way of avoiding responsibility. 

  1. When Self Acceptance is Used to Justify Continuing Hurtful Behaviors

Common wisdom is that you should never expect people to change. The problem with this idea is when it becomes an excuse for people to justify behaving in ways that hurt others. When people say things such as, ‘You knew I was like this when we started dating.’ or ‘This is just how I’ve always been’, they are often just justifying bad or hurtful behaviors. When you tell other people these things, you are also telling yourself, ‘maybe I behave in ways that hurt other people, but I accept myself anyway.’ That is nothing more than justification to yourself to continue on with poor behavior. 

  1. When Self-Acceptance is a Sign of Fear of Moving Forward

Fear is one of the biggest and most common barriers to making changes to yourself. After all, changing yourself often involves doing lots of scary things. You may have to admit troubling things about yourself and your situation. You  may have to acknowledge that you need help and then ask for that help. You may need to drop habits, behaviors, and even people that have come to feel safe for you. One of the unfortunate things about self-acceptance is that it can so easily be used to mask fear of making changes and improving yourself.

You may not be able to conquer your fears right away and make changes, but if you simply shift your thinking from self-acceptance to acknowledging that fear is causing you to avoid change, you will have taken a step in the right direction.

The bottom line is this. You should always love yourself. You should also accept things about yourself that you truly appreciate and with which you are happy. In those ways, self-acceptance is a great thing. However, if you find yourself using self-acceptance as a justification or an excuse to continue behavior patterns that are damaging, then there is a problem. The important thing to discern is whether or not you are using the concept of self-acceptance to avoid making positive changes, or as a way to communicate self-love to yourself and the people around you. If it’s the former, you may want to consider the damage self-acceptance might be doing to you and the people in your life.

The post 5 Reasons Not to Accept Yourself As You Are appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

9 Reasons Why That Person You Gossip About is Happier Than You

9 Reasons Why That Person You Gossip About is Happier Than You

gossip

1) He isn’t wasting his time talking about you or other people

Heard of this quote?

“Big people come up with ideas. Average people talk about things. Little people talk about others.”

That person you gossip so much about is the big person. He’s busy being his own person and doing his thing. He is growing. He is happy.

2) He is not surrounding himself with gossipers

And your happiness and emotional well-being largely depends on the people you surround yourself with.

If you’re constantly being surrounded by gossipers, there’s only so much you can grow. Gossip after all, is toxic in nature.

So if you don’t hear that person talking about you or anything like that, it’s probably because they have better things to do. If you’re gossiping too much, it’s time to look around and see whether you’re really happy or not.

3) He is not taking sides

When people gossip, they take sides. They start to band together around a certain belief or idea.

And when that gets challenged, they start to be unhappy as they start to wonder, “How dare something/somebody challenge US?”

That is how the masses become unhappy.

But if you don’t waste your time gossiping and start to form your opinions instead of believing everything you hear, you’ll be a lot happier knowing that you stand up for your own beliefs.

4) He is learning and growing as a person

Gossip gets you nowhere. You learn nothing from it. If anything, it only teaches you to be a judgmental person.

So that person you talk about so much? He’s not learning how to judge people. He’s doing something more productive. He learns things. He absorbs facts and ideas. He studies them.

He is growing. And when somebody grows, they get better and become happier.

5) He takes pride in not being a liar

Gossipers lie. That’s the truth. The truth is always being stretched and things are exaggerated to no end.

A liar is not happy in life because they talk big just to fill up a void.

That person you gossip about so much is way happier because he has meaningful conversations with people instead. He and his friends don’t see a need to talk about half-truths or lies which serves no purpose in the end.

6) He has faith in his friends

The thing about gossipy people is that they’re ironically surrounded by the very people who talks behind others’ back all the time.

It begs to be asked then, “Are these friends talking behind my back?”

I personally believe gossipy people are not happy people as they start to suspect one another.

A non-gossipy person doesn’t need to do that. He is happy knowing that his friends are real friends who are there for him.

7) He has a peaceful time at work

Office politics are the bane of every work environment. People and colleagues make it a bad place as everyone keeps gossiping

The person who doesn’t waste his time gossiping steers clear of the politics. He is happy at work as he simply focuses on his work and makes sure he does it well.

8) He is nice and helps others

When people gossip, they form this pre-conceived perception of somebody. More often than not, it’s not a good one.

As a result, gossipy people end up not being nice at all.

A person who is not nice is not happy person. Period. Deep down, they’re suffering.

Think about it: If you’re nice and helpful to others, you are happy. Only good can come from that. No sane person ever becomes unhappy from being nice. And sometimes, the only way to become happier is to help others.

9) He is well-respected

Because no gossipy person is a respected one.

A gossipy person doesn’t even know how to respect others.

When you’re respected, people’d have only good things to say about you.

I don’t see how people can be unhappy that way.

Just for Pick The Brain Readers

Hey! Are you affected by gossip?

Then you need to learn how to stop caring about what others think. My free book, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About will help with that!

This free book is only available through this link. Go for it!

Alden Tan is both a Bboy and writer who writes about honest and real stories at his blog. He has no time for bullshit and gives you honest advice to become a better, happier person.

The post 9 Reasons Why That Person You Gossip About is Happier Than You appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

How to Break Up with Someone You Still Love

How To Break Up With Someone You Still Love

how to deal with a break up

Have you been wondering how to break up with someone you still love? The tips in this article will help you to do just that.

You know that you need to break up, but you do still love and care about them, so you do not wish to hurt them. The longer that you wait to do this, the worse the hurt will be.

There are things that you can do to make this process a little easier on both of you. Read on to find out how.

1. What Is Love?

Love is the feeling you get when you think that someone can meet your psychological needs that are not met in other ways. Your ego is also boosted by this feeling.

It may make you feel more attractive, smarter, or more confident. When you realize these things about love and the ego, then you can begin to prepare to break up with them.

2. There is More Than One Potential Partner

A popular myth about love is that there is a soulmate for everyone. The truth is, there are many soulmates available to all of us. Each one will bring new experiences, and each one will prepare us for the next relationship.

Each ex helps us to know what we do not want in a relationship. If you keep these things in mind, you will be able to easier break up with the one you are with now. There is hope to find someone else who can provide you with what you need, and you in turn can do the same for them.

3. End Contact

Make sure that after you break up, you do not continue to text and call them. Also, as you will surely miss them, remember why you broke up with them in the first place. Do not keep rehashing the good memories, and do not think about what might have been.

4. Ease Them Into the Idea

Do not suddenly heartlessly break up with them out of the blue. Talk to them a couple of times beforehand about what is not working, and gently let them know that you think it would be better for both of you if you ended the relationship at this point.

Tell them that continuing to stay together will only prolong the hurt. Let them know that there are many factors in your decision, and that you want to make a clean break now so that you do not hurt them any further.

5. The Hurt Does Not Have to Last

Another myth about breaking up is that the hurt has to continue on for weeks or months. You are going to be sad after the break up as at this point you still love your ex and you did not want to hurt them.

However, this sadness does not have to linger. Let out your sadness and disappointment. Exercise, journal, cry, and get rid of reminders of the ex. Do not listen to sad songs or watch sad movies. Avoid places where they may hang out as this will only hurt both of you.

When you are wondering how to break up with someone you still love, following the previous tips will help you be able to do so quickly and easily, and you will then not prolong the hurt for either of you.

These are ways to accomplish your goal, and then you can begin to move on and live your life. There is no reason that you have to feel bad for a lengthy amount of time.

Have you used any of these tips to break up with someone you still love? Did you find our tips helpful? Please share in the comments section below.

——-

Alex J. Stevenson is founder of http://howtogetoveryourex101.com/ and the creator of the training material ‘The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days’. If you are feeling down right now, then he is providing just what you really need at this moment. Visit his site for more help.

The post How to Break Up with Someone You Still Love appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

7 Positive Ways to Deal with Regret

7 Positive Ways To Deal With Regret

how to beat regret

If you’re like me, each year you count down how many months it is until your birthday. Another year means you’re another year older.  While that’s a cause for celebration, it also means reflecting back on what you’ve done in your life.

Funny things happen when more time passes. You look back at different events, and think, “If I had only done that, then I could have…”.

If this is you, stop.

Look, I know regrets are painful. And as time passes, they accumulate and pile up into an ugly mess that’s hard to get rid of. It seems like no matter what you do, there are always regrets just prodding at you.

How then, do we get deal with them and start living positively? Here are 7 ways:

  1. Know that hindsight is 20/20.

You act only based on all the information you have at the time. But sometimes, circumstances change so that when you look back, it seems like you should have made a different decision.

The thing is, how would you have known at the time?

Stop being so hard on yourself. Based on your current situation at the time, you picked the best choice amongst all others. Even today, you don’t know what the future holds in store and you’ll likely make choices depending on what your situation is like right now.

  1. Embrace the present.

People like to time travel in their heads. That includes me, too. As a kid, I would sometimes wish that I was grown-up already.

Time travel happens all throughout our lives. When people are bored at work, they think about sitting at home watching TV. When they watch TV at home, they worry about work.

Later, we end up wishing we had savored more of our time as it was.

So instead, we should focus our time on being, rather than wishing. Take a moment right now, and enjoy the moment you are in.

  1. Realize saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to others.

We want everything. It’s just human nature. We want money, recognition, fun, and good relationships. The problem is that there’s only so much time in the day and often sacrifices have to be made.

If you look back and think that you should have had more fun, that’s probably because you said “no” to fun and “yes” to money. It’s not necessarily a bad thing if done within reason. Think about what would happen if you had chosen to have more fun and worked less. Would you then say, “I wish I had more money”?

Probably.

  1. Happiness is largely a choice.

If you’re reading this, you probably have the basic necessities of life: shelter, food, and sleep. Maybe you have a loving spouse, kids, parents, siblings, or friends as well.

Once you have the basic necessities, having more doesn’t mean you’ll be happier. There will always be someone with more of what you want, and that person isn’t necessarily happy.

Remember to practice gratitude for what you do have as you travel your own journey.

  1. Recognize that you have different priorities at different stages of life.

At one period in your life, you might focus on building a career. Then, your priority shifts to spending time with family.

Wanting your past self to have spent time doing something else means imposing your present set of values on your past self, which doesn’t make sense.

Our values evolve as we age. Even now, you might be spending time on a goal that your future self would think differently about. That’s okay.

What’s important is that your values in that time period align with the activities that you’re pursuing.

  1. Know that things could have turned out much, much worse.

I spoke to someone who had turned down an offer for a prestigious program for another one. He lamented, “I wish I had gone there instead.”

But, how does he know that the other program would make him happier? The fact is that he doesn’t.

Things could have taken a turn for the worse. He could have had worse experiences had he chosen differently.

So accept that events have happened and in some way contributed to your life, whether by making you stronger, happier, or better prepared for the future.

  1. Accept that many events are outside of your control.

It makes me sad to hear about people who blame themselves for an event in the past that wasn’t their fault. Maybe someone couldn’t rescue a loved one, or missed out on an opportunity for personal growth.

Often, people blame themselves when they look back at what they lost. At the same time, they forget the fact that they really didn’t have a choice.

Don’t tear yourself up. Make the most of the time you have now in the present.

If you enjoyed reading this, why not join my newsletter? My posts will show you how to:

  • Develop a mindset that helps you get more out of life
  • Create healthy and meaningful habits that stick
  • Get tasks done faster so that you have more time

I’ll also give you a free copy of my popular guide “How To Get Anything You Want” as a welcome gift.

The post 7 Positive Ways to Deal with Regret appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

16 Rules That Lead You To Happiness

The 16 Rules That Lead You To Happiness

Admit that developing your skills and growing emotionally are not the first things in your agenda, if they are even there. Life is full of events and responsibilities; days go by very fast. Many of us forget to work on our physical, emotional and spiritual state. We forget that we need to grow every day.

It doesn’t mean you are not beautiful right now, but constant growth and constant changes are necessary to keep you happy and motivated. The following are 16 rules that can become the foundation for your self-perfection. Make a small step to the better version of you every day.

Enrich your mind

  1. Organize yourself

If you organize your days in a nice and comfortable way, you will find yourself being more relaxed and confident. One good tip here is to deal with the most difficult and massive tasks in the morning. If you leave them for later, you will feel burdened the whole day; who needs that?

  1. Start developing and acquiring skills

There is no better time for it than now. You shouldn’t wait for a special perfect day to start learning how to play the guitar or speak Spanish. Do you want to learn new things? Make the first step: buy a guitar or sign up to take a foreign language course and pay upfront. Thus, you’ll be better motivated to do what you’ve wanted to do for years.

  1. Make a deal with your friends

If you don’t have the resources to buy a music instrument or sign up for courses, it is not an excuse. I bet some of your friends have a guitar at home lying with no use. And I bet there is at least one of your friends who speaks a foreign language. You can ask them to help you and offer something you can do for them in return.

  1. Read, read and once more – read!

Read books of any genre, as many as you can. Books broaden your outlook, make you think and give you the experience you may never acquire in real life. If you don’t know what to read, start with books that got Nobel or Pulitzer Prizes.

Develop your body

  1. Exercise every day

The worst mistake with exercising is seeing it as something unpleasant and torturous. You don’t have to exhaust yourself with super difficult physical activities so that you cannot get out of bed the next day. Just do simple exercises such as squats, push-ups and some stretching exercises. The most important thing is that you do it every day. Yu can run one day, play tennis the next day and do yoga the third day. See it as an interesting hobby and not as something you just have to do with no desire. After a couple of weeks you will feel differently about exercising.

  1. Eat your favorite fruits and vegetables instead of unhealthy food

Well, yes, it doesn’t sound fun and you’ve heard it many times. However, this tip is always vital. You can either harm or do good to your body with food. If you get used to eating fruits instead of chips, for example, you will soon see the difference.

  1. Try group fitness

A fit and energetic instructor and like-minded group of people are a great motivation for exercising. If you find someone to go with you, it is even better. Maybe you both lack friendly pushes to do the whole thing.

  1. Drink water

Drinking a big amount of water every day has lots of benefits. Nutritionists and doctors advise drinking at least eight glasses of water per day. It doesn’t include any other liquids such as coffee or soda.

Cultivate true happiness

  1. Praise people

Making people happy is one of the coolest thing ever, especially if you know and care about these people. Besides, happiness is contagious. Show your appreciation for people around you. If they are good at something, notice it and tell them; it will improve their and your mood.

  1. Smile

Seriously, smiling gives you many benefits. For example, a good laugh releases lots of endorphins that make you happier. Negative emotions won’t help you fight your problems; they’ll only harm you. Smiling, on the other hand, will make you feel better and maybe will make people around you smile, as well.

  1. Take care of your family

How much time do you spend with your spouse and your kids? No matter what your answer is, it is never enough. Parents most often both work and see each other and their kids for one or two hours per day. You should spend more quality time together, support each other and take care of each other. You should be more involved in your kids’ lives. Even when you are not with them, you can always know where they are with the help of Pumpic or similar programs. Make sure you participate in your family’s life and don’t just live together and occasionally share meals.

  1. Surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with

Think of how you feel communicating with people in your life. Aren’t there people who bring negative emotions to your life? Aren’t there those who sabotage your work and drag you down? You cannot be completely happy if you are surrounded with negative pessimistic people. Try to spend time with those who encourage and inspire you. You deserve it.

Grow spiritually

  1. Set goals

I’m not talking about career goals, though they are important, too. Start your day with the thoughts of how to make yourself and your family happy today. What good can you bring to this world today? Set goals to grow spiritually.

  1. Be grateful for what you have

There are always things we want but don’t have. It is important to go to your dreams and goals, but there is no point worrying about not achieving them yet. Remember that there are always people who are happy although they have less than you. If you feel grateful for what you have every day, it’ll help you appreciate your life and your choices more.

  1. Try to do yoga

Even if you know nothing about it, you should try it. Yoga is great for clearing your mind and learning your body. Even the easiest poses bring positive effect. Start your day with yoga, and everything will be good.

  1. Remember that everything goes off

There are many troubles and failures in life; there are many bad events that suck you in. It is difficult to get out and to move on. Ask yourself if this problem matters in a year, five or ten years. Everything passes and soon you forget about bad things. Think about it when you are having a bad day.

You only have one life! Apply some efforts and make the best of it.

 

The post 16 Rules That Lead You To Happiness appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

Courage = Heart: 5 Daily Reminders for Women

Courage = Heart: 5 Daily Reminders

how to have courage

Most of the time we think courage is a big emotion we muster up in times of need, when the clouds descend and life collapses around us with loud booming noises.

But often, the opposite is true. Sometimes it is the quietest of moments, when we can barely hear our own heart speaking, that require the most courage.

We are taught that courage is having the heart of a lion – but a lion doesn’t always roar. Watch carefully; each move a lion makes is calculated and graceful. In fact, a lion is still for a good portion of time – almost as if in deep contemplation and reflection – choosing to roar when time and circumstance demand it.

As human beings, we are often afforded moments of deep reflection to look inside our own hearts. It is in these moments that we are gifted a new, clearer lens through which we can see ourselves. However, once we peer through that lens, there is no turning back – only marching forward with courage as our guide.

I was lucky enough to interview several women and listen to the deeply introspective responses they had to questions I posed to them about how they define courage and how they found a way to shine in the face of adversity. What rang true through every story and every answer was that women are strong; women are courageous; and, at the worst of times, when the chips are down, women shine! Sometimes, we just need to be reminded of how amazing we are. Here are five reminders of what women should know about themselves:

  1. Be proud of your story. You don’t have to let your story define you. Let it lead you to who you are.
  1. Know you have the courage to BE who you are no matter what life throws at you.
  1. You are stronger and more courageous than you think.
  1. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is feeling fear and doing it anyway.
  1. Your voice is important. It is time to be heard and seen.

Terry Sidford has been a certified life coach for the past 15 years and has assisted scored of people in achieving their dreams, which she believes is her own life’s purpose. For more information: http://www.createyourlifecoaching.net/

The post Courage = Heart: 5 Daily Reminders for Women appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

4 Ways To Prevent Self-Criticism from Holding You Back

4 Ways To Prevent Self-Criticism From Holding You Back

self confidence quotes

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ― Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

Have you ever wished that you weren’t so hard on yourself? Or are you someone who believes that you aren’t hard enough on yourself? Do you feel little of what you do meets your “standards”, or that being harder on yourself will help you achieve more and move faster?

In this article I will discuss four common causes of self-criticism. I will also cover why becoming less critical of yourself is a good thing, and ways in which you can do so. I hope that by the time you finish this article you will realize that being hard on yourself is not a prerequisite for accomplishing your goals. I want to empower you and help you leave the toxic habit of self-criticism behind. Now, for the four main causes of self-criticism:

1) You believe that self-criticism is helping you

Many of us believe that self-criticism is necessary if we want to accomplish things and move forward in our lives. Ironically, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Most of us have a deep-seated fear that, if we don’t push ourselves hard enough, we will become lazy or complacent. Or, worse yet, we will in turn fail to reach our goals in life. There is an inner voice that tells us that we aren’t good enough, that we shouldn’t have done this or that, or that we should be trying harder. However, it’s important to question that inner voice. Are the beliefs it espouses true? And is criticizing, pushing, and berating yourself genuinely helping you? Does it make you feel better, or does it make you feel worse?

2) You are lacking in self-compassion

What if becoming more self-compassionate happened to be more effective than criticizing yourself? Well, this concept isn’t just conjecture or feel-good advice. It’s backed up by science. In fact, studies have shown that people who are self-compassionate tend to perform better and persevere longer than those who aren’t. This makes sense if you think about it. After all, can you imagine how much more inner peace and emotional stability you would experience if you stopped beating yourself up?

When it comes to criticizing yourself, I know how it is. I’ve been there. I used to be very hard on myself. Once I tried self-compassion, however, I realized that I was wasting much less time beating myself up. This freed me to move quickly past failures instead of wasting time and energy dwelling upon them. I was better able to cope with challenges. Practicing self-compassion provided multiple benefits. This is my question to you: are you being compassionate enough with yourself?

3) Your life is full of “shoulds”

If you are hard on yourself, you are likely to cling to a certain image of yourself. This image includes how you “should” act, what you “should” say, how you “should” look, how things “should” be, and so on. Then, when you fail to adhere to these “shoulds”, you become depressed, use it as an excuse to play the victim, and give up instead of moving on. Why not accept that things are as they are and recognize that, even if you aren’t moving as fast as you’d like, it’s not a big deal? You’ll get where you want to go if you stay focused. Fretting over the speed of your progress is more likely to cause failure than the speed of progress itself. So, how many “shoulds” do you have in your life?

4) You habitually judge others

The harshness with which you judge yourself is probably equal to the harshness with which you judge others. It’s possible to judge others on a regular basis on a subconscious level. You might think, “She’s mean”, “He’s always complaining,”, or even, “Why is she wearing such ridiculous clothes?” Once you realize how much you judge others, you’ll have the ability to notice and diminish the habit, thereby becoming less critical of yourself and others. That said, don’t try repressing this urge to judge, as that will turn into yet another “should”. Just observe the habit without identifying with it. Are you aware of the frequency with which you judge others, or do you need to take a closer look at it?

In Conclusion

I would like to leave you with a challenge: for seven full days, trade self-criticism for self-compassion. Then, share your experience with me by leaving a message below. Did you accomplish less? Did you become lazy? Or were you more productive and energetic? I would love to know! So, are you up to the challenge?

Here is a special bonus for you

Why not go further in your personal development journey? If you like this article I’m sure you will benefit from my free E-book, The 5 Commandments of Personal Development.

You can download it here:

Thibaut Meurisse is the founder of whatispersonaldevelopment.org. Obsessed with self-improvement, he dedicates his life to finding the best possible ways to transform his life and the lives of others. Check out his free E-book “The 5 Commandments of Personal Development” or order his new book Goal Setting: The Ultimate Guide To Achieving Goals That Truly Excite You on Amazon!

The post 4 Ways To Prevent Self-Criticism from Holding You Back appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain

Three Powerful Mindfulness Tips That Can Change Your Life

Three Powerful Mindfulness Tips That Can Change Your Life

how to be mindful

  1. Be the master of every moment

You are the master of your mind and only you can decide what you’re feeling. Don’t let other people put you down with their words and actions. You have the decision to give in to their misery or to remain unaffected and pleasant.

Think of them as giving you a present; inside of it is a little misery. Your mind has a choice to accept it or not. Without accepting the present, what happens to the present? It remains with the owner and they have to deal with it. People often receive one present of misery and give ten presents back. This just feeds the cycle of misery and it’ll keep going. People who feed the cycle want to receive your attention and get a reaction; don’t give into this. By understanding how this cycle works, you should remain unaffected and stop the cycle.

As humans we crave social interaction, and when we are desperate for attention we say things or do things we don’t mean. It’s a really petty way of getting attention, but that’s okay because that’s what makes us human.

Whether it be for their ego or for their misery – accept that the people you’re dealing with just want to be desperately heard. Don’t feed their ego or misery and remain unaffected; we aren’t cavemen anymore. You have a choice to let things go!

  1. Respect the law of impermanence

We have all heard the saying “what comes up must come down”, and that applies to life as well. People give insufficient attention to this little detail in life. No matter how happy you are in life, there will be a time when that happiness goes away. Same goes with pain, no matter how painful you feel that pain would thankfully go away.

Individuals who get attached to outcomes and material objects suffer a lot more than those who understand the impermanence of everything. Let your attachments to material objects go and you will feel more tranquil and have a lighter mind.

Take for example two people who bought the same pair of shoes. One is attached to the shoe and worries about it getting dirty even though eventually it would get dirty and replaced. The other understands that this is only one of many shoes that he would wear in his lifetime and wears it without worry. Who suffers more?

When you feel attached to an outcome or feel aversion towards one, remind yourself about the law of impermanence. Correct understanding will help you let go of these feelings and have a calmer mind. It is a hard habit to master and may take a long time, but keep at it!

  1. Accept that everything is changing all damn the time

You aren’t the same person you were a year ago or even 5 years ago. Everyday you change a bit, for the better, or for the worse. It’s just the law of nature that things change over time. Accept that life changes and let things go. Don’t get attached to what had previously happened or worry about the future; it’s a waste of mental energy and focus. Focus on the present instead, and use what you had learned from previous experiences to improve yourself. Forge yourself to be unaffected by sudden or gradual changes, and when the time comes to let past outcomes go – you will be ready.

Your body is the best example of this. You can experience the change and apply the knowledge. The surface of your body is going through countless biochemical reactions at any given point of time. If you focus hard enough you can even feel the changes. A change in temperature, a sudden itch, the feeling of touch, the vibrations caused by blood flow, etc. Just like your body the world is changing a countless number of times at any given point of time.

These changes happen relatively fast compared to your lifetime. Each experience that you have gone through is comparable to a second of small vibrations on your body. You went through it and you’re here now. Why give so much attention and mental energy to something that’s so fast and insignificant? Let go of those thoughts and free your mind from the suffering that they cause.

As grim as it sounds, life is short – your body is changing and degrading all the time. You want to focus on things that matter and not give your focus away like charity. If something is bothering you, let it go because it does not deserve your focus. Realise that it’s a little blimp in your journey called life and you would live more happily and freely!

——–

Enjoy more tips at my blog ‘The Anxiolytic’ (www.theanxiolytic.com) which aims to help those with anxiety and share techniques for stress reduction.

The post Three Powerful Mindfulness Tips That Can Change Your Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.


Source: pickthebrain