15 Things To Start A Better Life With

15 Things To Start A Better Life With

how to live a better life

It is obvious that to change your life, you need to do something. However, many people simply don’t know where to start. Here are 15 tips on how to change your life bit by bit and to start enjoying and appreciating what you have.

  1. Start spending time with the right people

Right people are those whose company you enjoy. These people appreciate you and support you when you want to change your life for good. They make you feel alive and accept you for who you are and who you want to become.

  1.  Be honest with yourself

Basically, you are the only person you can always rely on. So why should you lie to yourself? Be honest about what’s right and what’s wrong in your life. be honest about your achievements and who you want to be. Learn to understand who you truly are; have no illusions.

  1.  Make your happiness a priority

Your needs are very important. If you don’t respect yourself, don’t take care of yourself and don’t think your desires are important, you only make your life harder.

Remember: you can take care of yourself not neglecting other people’s wishes and needs. And when your own needs are satisfied, you’ll be able to help other people.

  1.  Learn to capture the moment

Right now miracles are happening. Now is the only moment in your life you can be sure of. Now is life!

So stop thinking about the huge things you will accomplish in the future and stop worrying about what you did or didn’t do in the past. Learn to be here and now.

  1.  Enjoy the things you have

The problem of many people is that they think they’ll become happy when they get to the certain point in life, for example, if they will get promoted, get married or buy a new house. These things take time and the truth is that when you have them, you think of new things you cannot be happy without. Thus, you’ll work your whole life to achieve something and eventually won’t enjoy any of it. Learn how to relax and to be happy about the things you already have.

  1.  Believe that you are ready for the next step

You are ready right now, actually. You have everything for your next little step forward. Accept the opportunities that come on your way and agree to changes. It is a gift that helps you move forward.

  1.  Compete only with the past you

Get inspired by other people, appreciate other people, learn from them, but don’t compete! It is a waste of time. You always compete with only one person – you. You compete to become a better you. Have a goal to beat your own achievements and you’ll be fine.

  1.  Learn to be happy about other people’s victories

Start noticing what you like about other people and tell them that. Acknowledging that you are surrounded by nice people leads to the best things. Be happy for those who achieve something. Wish them best and those people will do the same for you.

9.  Start forgiving yourself and other people

Sooner or later everyone feels bad about their own decisions or other people’s mistakes. It is normal to feel this way, but sometimes it lasts too long. We relive these memories over and over again making this unpleasant time in our life even longer.

The only cure here is forgiveness. it doesn’t mean you forget about what happened. It means that you let the pain go away and see it as another life experience.

  1.  Start taking care of others

Show compassion to others, guide them if you feel you are competent. The more you help other people, the more they help you. Love and kindness always come back. The most important thing, of course, is to take care of your family. If you have kids, you should protect them in any way you can. Many parents today undergo much less stress about their kids by installing android or other parental control programs on their phones so that they can always know where their children are. Taking care of the close ones is as important as taking care of yourself.

  1.  Watch out for stress!

Calm down and breath in. Stop and take some rest if you feel you are overstressed. When you are overwhelmed with work, a small break can refresh your brain and increase your productivity. Besides, short breaks allow you to look back and to make sure your actions are leading you to your goals.

  1.  Start noticing the beauty of small events

Instead of waiting for big events, such as weddings, promotions, anniversaries, etc., look for happiness in small and sometimes even invisible things that happen every day. A cup of coffee in the early morning, delicious smell of home-made food; the happiness to share a moment with people you love are all the precious things in your life. Start noticing these little pleasures and your life will become more meaningful.

  1.  Move towards your goals every day.

Whatever you dream about, start moving in that direction not missing one day. Every little step, every small action and tiny achievement make you closer to your goals.

  1.  Be more open with your feelings

If you are hurt, give yourself some time to get through it. Don’t shut it down deep inside you so that it can explode one day. Talk to your friends, let them know how you feel and they’ll comfort you. This easy step is actually very important and will spare you numerous psychiatrists in the future.

  1.  Concentrate on the things you can control

You cannot change everything. Wasting your energy, talent and emotions on the things that are out of your control is the best way to feel helpless and disappointed. That is why you should turn your efforts only to those things you can change.

The post is written by Jana Rooheart, an aspiring writer, blogger and motivational speaker. She is inspired by helping people, creating educational and motivational posts and getting feedback for her work.  


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6 Obstacles You Must Overcome to Learn a New Language

6 Obstacles You Must Overcome To Learn A New Language

how to learn a new language

Like anything we want to achieve, language learning is a long journey to go through.

Many surveys show that the majority of the reason why people never reach fluency is not because of age, talent, or resources.

It’s because they quit too early. While there have been several studies of the major benefits in acquiring a new language, such as improving your memory and delaying dementia, we’re all humans after all.

For those of you learning a new language, you’ll go through several inevitable obstacles during your journey, and it’s better to be prepared to face them before they come.

Here are 6 major obstacles you will face and how to overcome them.

1. Frustration

Frustration is the first stage that you’ll experience in the learning stage, and it’s perfectly normal. This state of frustration just means you’re stretching your comfort zone and pushing yourself further than before. However, this is when so many of us quit because we don’t immediately “get it.”

Once we realize that upon getting past the frustration stage that the learning process becomes enjoyable and fun, it’s much easier to overcome. It’s only a temporary state that we feel, and what separates the successful individuals versus the unsuccessful is the ability to get past this stage.

The key is to take it step by step, instead of overwhelming yourself with a massive challenge. If your goal is to become a fluent Spanish speaker (and you have zero knowledge), then your first goal should be as small as memorizing 10 of the most common words.
From there, give yourself a treat or celebrate your small wins, and this will trigger your brain to crave more of these progressions. Then learn 20 words, and so on…

2. Lack of interest or purpose

While most obstacles could be easily cured through simple solutions, the lack of purpose or interest can only come from within you.

Without an internal desire to learn something, no amount of money, resources, and strategies can help you get to the next level.

In our free language course, we cover what we call our Ultimate Goal Setting strategy, by answering questions like:

  • What opportunities will become available by speaking fluently?
  • What would I do if I could speak this language fluently right now?
  • How will I feel after reaching fluency?

Perhaps you could have a deeper connection with your partner or family member who knows another language.

You could get a raise at your current job or open yourself up to new and amazing career opportunities with your new language. You can finally move to Spain or travel around South America with ease and comfort, creating deep connections with new people you meet.

Whatever your goal may be, make sure it excites you!

3. Cost

While money does not equal happiness, it is certainly a problem for many people when it comes to learning a language.

At the same time, with anything in life, you get what you pay for. This doesn’t mean that free solutions are ineffective, but if you’re looking to see serious and lasting results, then the fastest way to do this is through immersion with a native speaker (preferably a professional).

The best part is, this doesn’t mean purchasing a $1,000 ticket to fly to South America or Italy. With the advent of online technology, immersion learning can be brought to the comforts of your home — right to your screen.

Online platforms like Rype, provide you with language coaching for as little as $1/day, while matchmaking you to a personal language coach that will work one-on-one with you to accelerate your learning speed.

4. Lack of time

Time is the most valuable commodity that we never seem to have enough of. Having more time to learn a new language is a struggle for many of us, with our normal jobs, social life, and family to take care of.

And when we do manage to find those extra few hours in our day, the last thing we want to do is get in our cars and drive to go to language school or meet a private tutor, right?

Truthfully, we only need to carve out an extra 30 minutes per day (or less) to learn a language, and the simplest way to do this is to eliminate commuting. Most of us are still learning a language in-person, which requires anywhere from 45-60 minutes on average that is spent on solely commuting!

Instead of taking a bus to the nearest Starbucks in your local city, why not look for a teacher online that will allow you to avoid the commute in the first place?

5. No growth

If we don’t grow, we die. This means we have to constantly be improving, consistently be getting better, and always growing our knowledge.

Think about the last time you went on a long hike. While the final moments may seem like you’re walking in one place, the moment you look back, you realize how far you’ve walked!

This is what we need to do with language learning. Seeing how far we have come with our skillset will be the fastest way to motivate ourselves out of frustration, disappointment, or whatever state we’re in that leads to giving up too early.

If you’re working with a professional teacher or coach, ask for a monthly report of your progress, or even record yourself every month and watch how far you’ve come. Even noticing the improvement of your accent, or the confidence you have when speaking the foreign language can give you a boost of energy and excitement to sustain your growth over the long run.

6. No accountability

This applies to not just language learning, but everything from health & fitness, nutrition, business, and more.

The top athletes and business leaders pay coaches millions of dollars per year, sometimes solely for the psychological edge it gives them, knowing that someone is there to keep them accountable.

Think about how much more motivated we are when we go to the gym with a partner, rather than ourselves. It’s just how the human mind works.

After surveying dozens of language learners, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s why free mobile apps like Duolingo don’t bring lasting results, because there’s no incentive or motive to continue.

Languages are meant to be learned and experienced with fellow humans, there’s no other reason to learn it in the first place. It’s also how we’re best kept accountable. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or at an intermediate level, find an accountability partner who is a friend, family member, or an online coach to help you achieve your end goal.

If you’re still looking for a language coach, head over to Rype and get started for free!

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How to Live a Joyful Life Starting Today

How To Live A Joyful Life Starting Today

how to be happy

The word that we use so often, but not enough when we’re conversing with our inner self is the key live a joyful life.

My father is a no-person.

When you ask him a question, his automatic response is no. In a while, after he goes through some mental process that is a mystery to me, he might say yes. Most of the time he actually does change his mind if you bring him back to the topic several times or present him with evidence. Usually it just takes a few kind words.

It’s not because he doesn’t want a vegetarian diner, or because he doesn’t want to go to the movies or because he hates everything new…

It’s because he just reacts with a no to everything new. I know that and I work around it.

You might think that this is a good thing – most people nowadays are too weak-charactered to actually say no and suffer a lot from that.

I am quite sure you’re wrong.

Not because saying yes to everyone and everything is a healthy way of living and communicating. In fact, we use the word yes way too much – we make promises and commitments that we never follow through.

We agree with things we’ve no idea about.

We confirm that someone is right, when they are fundamentally wrong.

We say yes too much to people and too less to ourselves.

My father is a no-person on the inside and out. He says no to everyone including himself. And he has a boring life he doesn’t like much (he doesn’t even agree with that, but anyhow). I can imagine the complete opposite of him – a person who says yes to everything. That wouldn’t be okay neither, don’t you think?

You would end up with a lot of regrets and disappointments.

But what if, only if we tried to say yes to the one person that matters the most and try to make them happy?

YES, this person is you.

We often (if not always) say a fake yes to agree with someone we like or want to please. Now it’s time to start saying yes to ourselves! And see what happens.

How To Live a Joyful Life

I promised to tell you how to live a more joyful and exciting life, and I am sorry if I get carried away with my father’s story but it had a point.

We are limiting ourselves with every other no. Society has conditioned us to live in a world where being spontaneous and excited is seen as irresponsible and childish.

Saying no is the first logical reaction to anything new.

Because you don’t have time.

Or money.

Or you are too old or young or busy or beautiful.

Because you just don’t do that kind of things.

Because you are afraid.

Or tired.

All kinds of reasons to say no. And they are all legitimate…..if you want to live a boring life. 

Ask a kid if they want to do something they have never done or see something new. They always say yes.

And when you and I start saying more yes to ourselves, then the joy and excitement of life will be back.

Commit to a day of saying yes to yourself, for small and big stuff, and see where this takes you. It might take you to the fast food restaurant eating burger after burger….But it might as well take you to your passion in life, to discovering new friendships, love, opportunities and experiences.

When you get that feeling that you should do something, don’t say no backed up by logic….say yes, backed up by curiosity.

This is where you find excitement and joy in life.


Being a complete yes or no person on the outside is a big no-no. You either end up frustrated and bored, or regretful and with a bunch of commitments you can’t keep. On the contrary, learning to say more of YES to ourselves can create more excitement and joy in our lives.

We feel like the kid that’s finally been allowed to eat ice-cream for breakfast.

We feel like we are sneaking out of school to watch a movie or meet friends.

We feel like we are finally allowed to be adventurous.

And this counts for more joy and happiness in our lives.

Say YES to yourself and to your heart, it knows what’s good for you!

Looking forward to reading your comments – what did you say NO to today, and what are you going to say YES to tomorrow?

If this simple mindset tweak for living a joyful and exciting life sounds like something you dig, you should check out the Happiness Workbook for more (it’s free and really hilarious at times).

Antonia Zorluer is a designer, writer and content marketer. She writes for businesses at work and for pleasure at her personal happiness blog mintyhideout.com where you can find inspirational stories and tips on using writing for a better life. She loves to connect and talk happiness and writing on Twitter and Google +. 

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The ONE thing you need to know (that the experts won’t tell you) to be Successful

The ONE thing you need to know (that the experts won't tell you) to be Successful

best success tips from experts

Most personal development experts stick to the tried and tested route when it comes to explaining how to be successful. They’ll give you the version you want to hear. The one that tells you to work hard, visualize yourself succeeding and manifest success through the law of attraction.

While I don’t deny that all of the above are useful, it only paints half the picture. For the other half, you have to go into murky waters and deal with an issue most experts would rather avoid.

You see they don’t want to scare or put you off. However, I give Pick the Brain readers more credit than that. We don’t flinch at the truth. We’ll do whatever it takes to break free from mediocrity and live the life we want.

So with that in mind, here is the key to becoming super successful in any endeavor.


The thought of what you want to do or become has to dominate your mind.

Learn everything you can about your subject. Practice relentlessly. And most importantly of all, think about it non-stop.

Only this level of focus will bring you the answers needed to advance.

Why obsession works

In the U.K, we have a £50 note as a means of currency exchange. On the back of this note is a picture of James Watt, the 18th century Scottish inventor, whose improvements to the steam engine helped bring about The Industrial Revolution. Underneath his picture is a quote which reads, ‘I can think of nothing else but this machine’.

This is what I mean when I say get obsessed. He was so engrossed with the thought of improving the steam engine that his mind couldn’t comprehend anything else. You can imagine him thinking about it morning, noon and night, visualizing it over and over in his head and talking about nothing else to his colleagues and friends. In short, his work came alive in his mind.

Why is this important?

Because the super-conscious mind, infinite intelligence, God or whatever you want to call the energy that animates you, responds to your habitual thinking. Keep your mind focused on what you want to achieve and it will respond with answers, innovations, a direction and the so called chance encounters that will advance your cause.

This is why having an obsession is so important. Most people drift through life on auto pilot. They read the newspapers, watch TV, endlessly surf the internet and gossip with friends about what other people are doing. They have distracted minds.

You, however, with your obsession about creating or doing something amazing, have a focused mind. The difference in results this brings about is astounding.

Ever wondered how some of the worlds super achievers got to that position without reading a personal development book or attending a Tony Robbins seminar?

They did so because they were obsessed by what they were creating. They spent endless hours working on it and when they weren’t working on it, they were thinking about it. Ways to improve their product, ways to spread their message, ways to improve their communication skills, how great it would feel to enjoy success and every tiny detail you can conceive.

This is how you must now approach your passion. Think about it on the journey to work, think about it while you are getting ready or bathing, think about it while you are working out and the rate at which you advance will amaze you.

How will I apply this to my life?

The obsession factor requires 2 key ingredients to be effective. 

  1. Passion

It’s difficult to focus your mind to obsessional levels without being passionate about the goal you want to achieve. Therefore, the object of your obsession has to spark easily accessible feelings of enjoyment and inspiration.

Even when you’re truly inspired by the thought of what you want to do, it takes a great deal of discipline to keep returning your thoughts to its realization. Don’t be disappointed by this. We love the idealized version of success, where we’re carried all the way to the top on a wave of inspiration, but, more often than not, it doesn’t work that way. Instead, remember the Edison quote,

‘Genius is 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration.’

So expect the mental discipline of constantly returning your thoughts to what you want to achieve to be tough. However, it DOES work. Allowing your dream to become the dominant thought in your mind ensures something very important – YOU FIND ANSWERS.

  1. Thick Skin

It’s impossible to talk about the obsession factor without mentioning the criticism, or even ridicule, you might encounter as a result of focusing your mind to this level. Most people won’t understand why you’re so consumed by the idea of what you want to achieve. They’ll view it as dangerous and even the route to insanity.

You must not listen to them. They’re conditioned to view this kind of behavior as abnormal. It’s what society tells them. Obsessional people equal ‘weird’. You should be hanging out with friends, getting drunk, going to nightclubs. This is fun. Or, you should be working your ass off in a job you don’t enjoy to support your family. It’s your duty.

Plus, the chances for success are so slim that it’s pointless even trying. What’s going to happen to your state of mind and well-being when you fail?

I call this negative voice The System’s voice and you must be prepared for it. Allow any criticism or ridicule to wash over you. The people who express such opinions can’t stop you, and their negativity will soon turn to praise when you do accomplish the object of your obsession.

And have no doubt; success is inevitable when you allow your mind to become obsessed. Two further examples demonstrate its power.

  1. Jonny Wilkinson.

Arguably England’s greatest ever Rugby player, Wilkinson was notoriously obsessional about perfecting his skills. Phil Larder, England’s defense coach, recalls a training session where the team had to practice a tackling drill. Jonny only made eight tackles out of ten and was dissatisfied with his performance. Even though they were flying out to the Rugby World Cup the next day, he made Phil Larder wake up 10 of the other players at 5.30am, 4 hours before the flight, so that he could perfect his tackling. They repeated the drill and this time he scored ten out of ten.*

  1. Rene Redzepi. 

The head chef of Noma, a restaurant voted the best in the world by Restaurant magazine; Rene was so obsessed with culinary perfection that he worked 10,000 hours in just 3 years! By his own admission, he is consumed by his work, ‘I work all the time. I don’t even count the hours now but it’s somewhere around 98 a week. For the first 5 years of my career, I was so submerged in my work that I couldn’t think of anything else. I had no clue what was going on in the news.’ **

Final Thought

The evidence is overwhelming. An obsessed mind virtually guarantees success.

But are you willing to go to that level?

Will you face the ridicule of others, the possibility of failure and the hard work that it entails?

If so, allow your mind to fixate on what it is you want to achieve or become. It’s a case of giving yourself permission to go to these levels rather than forcing anything.

In fact, a true obsession is something you are in love with. Remove that system voice; telling you it’s dangerous, and the natural affinity for what you’re doing will carry you to success.


* The Times Thursday 22nd May 2014

* *The Sunday Times Magazine. What I’ve Learned: Rene Redzepi. 24th May 2014

Want to learn more success tips that will enable you to live an extraordinary life?

Then head over to my website Screw the System and get your FREE copy of 50 Reality Changing Insights. Also check out my critically acclaimed book Escape the System Now. I work as a writer, hypnotherapist and tennis coach and have a passion for helping people Succeed on their own Terms.

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4 Meditation Secrets For People Who Can’t Meditate

4 Meditation Secrets For Those Who Can't Meditate

how to meditate

Scientists, businessmen, and yogis agree that meditation is one of the most beneficial and effective practices for a happy, healthy, and less-stressed humanity.

This simple practice is supported by a rapidly growing body of research and has been shown to reduce stress, counter depression, and make you feel better about yourself and your life.

If meditation is such an effective (and free!) way to improve your performance as well as your quality of life, why isn’t everybody doing it?

Well, for most of us it’s not so simple. Almost everyone struggles when getting started with meditation and my first attempts were no different.

I would spend hours trying to wrestle my monkey mind into submission as thoughts of teletubbies, unresolved childhood arguments, and laundry filled my head.

As my attempts to quiet the mind failed, I would grow more and more anxious until my inner-state more closely resembled panic than inner peace.

I tried to meditate for years before finally experiencing that ‘ah ha moment’ where I got a glimpse of what all these crazy folks were talking about.

My many attempts, and subsequent failures, gave me insight into what exactly the problem was when I finally had the breakthrough.

Meditation is now the most important part of my daily routine. I use this time to relieve stress, get centered and put my best self forward for the day.

Here’s are four secrets that I wish someone had told me when I was getting started with meditation.

1. Succeeding at Meditation Requires Changing Your Perspective

You probably think you know what meditation is, how to meditate and what meditation is going to get you.

Looking back, I realize that the most important change I made was letting go of my preconceived notions about the practice and the expected result.

Meditation is not about experiences. Meditation is not about quieting the mind. Meditation is about being present with whatever is happening to you. Right now. Moment to moment.

All these other shiny benefits are side effects. Yes it relieves stress, yes the mind gets quieter, yes you’ll experience more peace and happiness. But the weird part is that you can’t try to do this.

You cannot learn to quiet your mind. The mind becomes quiet when you stop trying to control it and start observing it. Don’t try to quiet it because the more you try, the more you will fail.

2. Use A Gateway

Modern life is not in any way, shape or form conducive to meditation. Fortunately there are a few ways that you can slow down the mind before you sit down to meditate.

Start with a gateway activity such as yoga, spending time outside, going for a walk or taking a bath.

Spend a few minutes switching gears before you sit down, and you’ll find yourself naturally drawn into meditation.

3. Start Smart

Most people make the mistake of initially setting the bar too high.

Instead of trying to meditate an hour a day and suffering through it, engineer an initial success that you can then build upon.

I recommend that for one week, you make small commitment to mediate once per day for just three minutes.

If you’d like to continue meditating after your three minutes have elapsed, you may do so. But when your three minutes are up you have fulfilled your obligation and may continue on with your day guilt free.

The second week, bump it up to five minutes, then ten. Eventually you’ll find you can sit down with no timer, no obligation, and meditate as long as you like. Tailor it to fit your lifestyle.

4. Don’t Overcomplicate

While there are many different meditation techniques, the basics are universal and boil down to just four simple steps. This is what you need to know to get started:

Sit comfortably
Sit in whatever way is comfortable for you. On the floor, in an armchair, with a special meditation cushion. Just get comfy so you aren’t distracted by being uncomfortable.

Use a technique to focus the mind
There are many ways to focus the mind. Some people repeat a mantra, focus on a sound, or do a visualization. The easiest way is to simply focus on the breath.

Observe what goes on
Meditation is not about the outcome. It is about being present and simply noticing what thoughts are going through your mind, what sensations are going through your body.

If you spend half an hour thinking about Oprah, your meditation was a resounding success if you noticed that you were thinking about Oprah!

Your only job is to acknowledge whatever thoughts may come up, and whatever sensations you may experience.

Accept your experience without judging
Here’s a dirty little secret: Meditation probably won’t feel peaceful for a while.

You may spend the whole time going over your to-do list or processing a difficult conversation from the previous day.

Whatever your experience, the most important part is to accept it without judgement. As we build this muscle of acceptance, our compassion for ourselves and others grows as well. This is where the benefits of meditation begin to touch other areas of your life.

Just for Pick The Brain readers

The only way to experience the life-changing effects of meditation is to try it out!

I put together a special, free resource for Pick The Brain readers to help you up your game in life and business with meditation.

Just click this link to claim your free guide.


Matt Jager is a wellness advocate and yogi on a mission to give everyone access to the tools they need to look incredible, feel amazing and love life.

For a free guide on getting started with meditation, visit his website at www.dontlosethecow.com

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10 Steps That Will Help You To Change Your Life

10 Steps That Will Help You Change Your Life

top success tips

The ten steps listed here are fundamental thinking changes that you need to make to change your life. Anything less is like spray painting rust. You need to get down deep and scrub out the oxides from your thought processes so that you can re-engineer yourself from the ground up.

Create your own world yourself
Promises Ave

1. Make Your Word The Most Important Thing In Your Life

Do not give your word lightly. Treat giving your word as precious as if you were giving somebody a diamond embedded in solid gold. Make your word the most important thing in your life, so that when you do give it out, you always follow through. If you even have 1% of doubt, then do not give your word and do not say things that you are not going to do. The pressure this relieves from you is enormous if you commit to it.

2. Understand That Lies Are Proof You Are Being Controlled

Do you lie to your boss about why you were off work? Do you lie to your spouse about where you were? Do you lie to your parents about how much money you make? It is because they have control over you in some way or another. A person that is free to be honest is a person that doesn’t allow others to control his or her life or destiny.

3.Remove Negative People From Your Life

Negative people are like oil in a freshwater pond. The impact they have on your life will stick with you for years, and it may stain your personality in a way that is almost impossible to recover from. If you “have” to be around a negative person, then do not allow them to be negative around you.

If that person keeps telling sad stories, then refuse to hear them. If that person gives you negative advice, tell them you will not hear their advice unless it is positive. Do not allow negative people to infect your life.

4. Broccoli Smoothies Will Make Change Your Life
Put fresh or frozen broccoli (defrosted) into a blender, add a little water and lemon juice, blend it up until it is drinkable and then down it in one go before the taste is able to make you throw up. Doing so on a daily basis will improve your health within six weeks, after which it will become more difficult to become sick. It will also give you more energy, speed up your metabolism, and help you lose weight and keep the weight off.

5.Understand That People Do Not Hold Up A Mirror To Themselves

Ever meet somebody that appears angry almost all the time? They seem to have a face and a manner that suggests they are in a bad mood or are easily upset? That person doesn’t know that he or she is coming across that way.

What is worse is that people then treat that person as if he or she is moody or in a bad mood, so that person sees a sea of disgruntled and/or nervous faces, which just amplifies their moody behavior further.

Give people the benefit of the doubt unless they prove otherwise, and do not be offended or hurt when people have angry outbursts at you. It is their own problem and their own issue, so do not be so arrogant as to take it personally.

6. Always Ask What 10-Years-In-The-Future You Would Say

How baby will born in future
How baby will born in future

Life coaches, online gurus, and the rest of the shysters in the Internet are going to tell you to think of the future when you put that extra piece of cake in your mouth, or that cigarette to your lips. But, thinking of the future is pointless because it is too far away to care. Instead, remember what you were like and what you were doing ten years ago and think what you would have said to that person.

Now imagine yourself in ten years in the future, and ask yourself what you would say to yourself today. You may avoid making decisions that are bad for you. Furthermore, if the advice you give yourself ten years from now is the advice you would have given yourself ten years in the past, then it is time for some fundamental life changes.

7 – Learn How To Cope With Anything

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.” (Rocky Balboa, 2006). You can let the world crush you, or you can make a conscious decision to learn how to cope with anything that the world throws at you. Decide today, will you be a victor or a victim?

8 – Accept That You Are An Addict Because You Feel Helpless

Addiction affects most people at some point in their lives. Most people pull themselves out of it without hitting rock bottom, but if you find that addiction is taking over your life, understand that you are an addict because there is something in your life that is making you feel helpless. Remove the cause of your feelings of helplessness, and then work to find ways of coping that do not involve your addictive act.

9 – Understand That Your Conscience Will Hold You Back
Talk to a 70 year old with a clean conscious and speak to one with a filthy conscious. One will have a sparkle in his or her eye and will look well rested, the other will look whipped. Can you guess which is which?

10 – Treat Others How They Want To Be Treated

They say treat others as you wish to be treated yourself, but who are you to judge? People don’t want to be treated as they treat you, they want to be treated the way they want to be treated.

Think of it this way, when a child runs up to you and tells you that he is Thor, do you disagree with him, or do you play along? That is all you are doing when you treat others how they want to be treated. Is your boss always trying to impose his/her authority to make up for his or her fundamental lack of authority? Treat him/her as if he or she has masses of authority. It is not sincere, but it won’t hurt you unless you let it go too far, so what do you have to lose?

Authors BIO
Laura Jonson is a passionate freelance writer and motivating coach. Now she is a mentor on essay writing resource www.assignmentmasters.co.uk AssignmentMasters UK. In the future, she is planning to publish a book.

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Compartmentalizing Our Free Will

Compartmentalizing Our Free Will

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Throw out the diet books and stop starving yourself.  Here’s the next big thing in healthy living:

Duct tape.  Yellow duct tape.

That’s what researchers found when they partitioned grocery store shopping carts into sections, one side for fruits and vegetables, one side for other items.  Just a little nudge to make shoppers more conscious of their purchases led them to buy more healthy food and less junk.

The researchers, Brian Wansink, Dilip Soman, Kenneth Herbst, and Collin Payne, didn’t stop there.  By varying the size of the compartments, they discovered that shoppers bought even more fruits and vegetables in proportion to the size of the designated compartment.  With a little manipulation, customers could be prodded into choosing a healthier diet.

Ah, but there’s the rub.  How dare they manipulate us!  Who are they to play with our minds, to force us to conform to their values, and to interfere with our free will?

To which there is only one obvious response:  nonsense!

You can redesign the shopping cart any way you want, but the only way it changes people’s buying patterns is if the people want to change.  As many of us know from experience, it’s a lot harder to change our habits than to decide to change our habits, no matter how much we may really want to change.

When we do succeed, it’s often because we manipulate ourselves.  We buy pricey gym memberships so we’ll feel we’ve wasted our money if we don’t use them.  We hire trainers to push us out of our comfort zones.  Sometimes we buy clothes a size too small so we have to trim down before we can fit into them.

Ultimately, it’s our own free will that motivates us in the first place to manipulate ourselves, or to allowing ourselves to be manipulated.

Which brings us back to yellow duct tape.  The subliminal message of pseudo-police-tape strung across our carts suggests restrictions imposed by a higher authority.  Human nature is such that we conform to societal norms, even if we like to think of ourselves as non-conformists.  We also long for equilibrium, so we want the compartments in our carts to be balanced, even when they aren’t the same size.

Are we being manipulated?  Well, what if we are?  Grocery stores are already manipulating us with the soft music they play to make us linger, through the absence of clocks in the store to help us lose track of time, and by rearranging their shelves every few months to make us look harder for the products on our lists and indulge in impulse-buying.  So why not embrace an effort to manipulate us to do what we want to do anyway?

Moreover, what we react to initially as an infringement on our free actually offers us a powerful tactic in asserting our free will.  Even if we can’t rely on store owners to help us help ourselves, we can make our own mental compartments to rein in our impulses.

Almost everyone has heard the story of the teacher who placed a number of stones in a large glass jar.  “Is the jar full?” the teacher asked.  Everyone in the class agreed that it was.

Then the teacher took a bag of gravel and poured it into the jar.  The gravel filled the empty spaces around the stones.  Again, the class agreed that the jar was full.

The teacher repeated the exercise with a pail of sand, and then again a pitcher of water, after which he explained the lesson:  “If you make room for the big things first, you can always find room for the small things.  And it’s the same way in life.  If we first make room for our family and our community, we can still find room for our careers, and then for our pastimes, and then for our possessions.  But if we fill up our lives with the little things first, we’ll never be able to fit in the things that really matter.

Free will means taking responsibility for everything we do, which means not allowing our impulses to control our actions or others to dictate our priorities.  And as we find ourselves living increasingly in a marketing culture, we have to create our own mental compartments to remind ourselves not to buy everything that society is trying to sell.

Of course, the system isn’t foolproof.  The researchers also found that if we shop when we’re hungry, we go right back to our old bad habits.  Which offers more evidence that good choices depend on clear thinking, and that we can’t manipulate our way out of bad behavior except through persistent self-discipline.

Selfishness and self-indulgence are our constant enemies, always pulling us this way and that way, rooted so deeply inside us that we can never escape them.  But with a little determined ingenuity we can turn them against themselves and, by transforming them from negative into positive energy, free ourselves to become the people we are meant to be.

Rabbi Yonason Goldson, a talmudic scholar and former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist, lives with his wife in St. Louis, Missouri, where he teaches, writes, and lectures.   Request the first four chapters of his new book Proverbial Beauty:  Secrets for Success and Happiness from the Wisdom of the Ages at this link for free or order now on Amazon.

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Tired of Never Being “Good Enough?” 4 Ways to Kill your Inner Critic

Contemplating man

Does that voice in your head ever make you feel like you’re not good enough?

I’ve been there and it sucks. When I launched a startup I used to constantly feel impatient, frustrated and inadequate because I wasn’t achieving “massive success.”  I fooled myself into thinking that I would only be good enough once I reached some “successful” milestone in the future. This perspective only increased the feelings of impatience and frustration and it turned into a vicious cycle of negative thinking.

Don’t make the same mistake.

Do you really want to spend your short life worrying about when you will be good enough rather than being comfortable with yourself now?

Today I want to share 4 powerful mental habits that you can use to break away from this negative cycle and that I learned the hard way.


Habit #1: Have Self-Compassion

Shame is a dangerous emotion. It can easily become a part of your identity if you’re not careful. When you identify yourself with tiny mistakes or over-analyze situations that make yourself feel guilty, it can easily lead to shame.

When things weren’t going as planned in my business, I used to think that it was because I wasn’t good enough. Although I knew to analyze the different factors of the business to realize where things were going wrong, I always pointed the finger at myself first!

If I could have done it all over again, I would’ve given myself way more compassion.


How to Practice Self-Compassion

Having self-compassion is important because it gives you permission to fail. Making “failure” acceptable will give you the confidence to take risks and try new things.

If you’ve been thinking about an experience you’ve been wanting to try, go into it giving yourself permission to fail and being compassionate with yourself if you do. This will remove the importance of the outcomes and will help you enjoy the actual experience.


A great tactic to make sure you’re practicing self-compassion is to role-play with yourself. Pretend that the issue you’re berating yourself about is actually an issue that a friend has.

How would you advise that friend? Would you call them a loser and make them feel low or would you encourage them to give themselves a second chance?

When you begin getting down on yourself or you hear that negative self-talk trigger, think about yourself and treat yourself as a friend. Give yourself the much needed compassion and support to simply do better next time.


Habit #2: Be grateful for what you’ve got

Like the famous Sheryl Crow line goes: “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

When you’re focused on what you don’t have or what you’re not achieving, you discount your past success.

If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’ll be good enough once you reach a certain career milestone or have a certain amount of money in your bank account, you will fail to enjoy the path that you’re currently on. You’re essentially “living in the future.”

Being grateful for your current situation, no matter what state it is in will make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Beyond that, gratitude has also been reported to strengthen immune systems, lower blood pressure, and increase levels of positive emotions in people.

It may sound cheesy, but I like to start my day with a short meditation focusing on gratitude. The reason that I’ve made this meditation a habit is because it achieves two important things: having gratitude and presence.


Easy 3-Step Meditative Practice:

  1. Gratitude for the people in my life– this keeps me grounded and reminds me of all the supportive people in my life
  2. Gratitude for the small stuff– I then like to think about minor things that make me happy or that I take for granted. Things like the birds chirping outside my window, running water, food and shelter, even silly things like my favorite TV shows!
  3. Gratitude for the big stuff– I also like to think about the endless opportunities in life that I have access to, like hobbies I’m passionate about, volunteer activities and other cool things I can live and learn from! Other things I may take for granted such as freedom and health are important things to be grateful for every single day.

You can use this same practice and tweak it to your own life. It will help focus your mind on the what you should be grateful for and it will bring you back into the now!


Habit #3: Focus on Small Wins

Setting goals is a great way to focus your mind and energy towards achievement to kill that inner self-doubt. Studies have also shown that setting goals can increase intrinsic motivation.

A hack that I like to use to build confidence is setting up small wins. You can do this by setting smaller, specific, achievable goals. Tracking a series of small wins can lead you to a long-term goal systematically. It also propels success by feeding off of the momentum of each small win, making you feel excited and motivated at every win.


Here’s an example:

I always wanted to start my own blog but it always felt really daunting. To get started, I made a small goal of getting at least 20 subscribers within one month.

Knowing that I was working towards a very specific goal made starting a blog more real, it gave me a reason to launch it and work on it consistently. Although the goal seemed small, I remember how ecstatic I was when I achieved it. It got me motivated to continue writing and I proved to myself that I could do it!

When you are setting goals to help you achieve small wins remember to be specific, have a deadline, make them achievable and track them. When you achieve those small wins be sure to celebrate them with gusto!


Habit #4: Visualization

Visualization is not mumbo jumbo. Top athletes and entrepreneurs use visualization to help prime their brains for success. The reason why it works is because you’re activating a series of connected nuclei in your brain called the “reticular activating system.”

In short, the RAS controls your belief system and links the unconscious and conscious parts of your brain. It helps filter out the tons of information you are exposed to, narrowing your brain’s focus only on the information that is deemed important by you.

For example, have you ever been at a busy airport but still hear your name through the intercom or someone shouting for you? That’s because your RAS has been primed to pay special attention to something important, your first name. It then turns all the other noise around you into “background noise.”

Visualizing helps prime your brain for success by cueing the RAS to focus on things that matter to you.


How to Visualize

A handy visualization exercise I like to use is imagining my “ideal future.” I like to vividly imagine a variety of things like what I’ll be doing, with whom, in what location and even imagine the way I’ll internally feel.

By doing this exercise, my brain is now focused on the things I can be doing to achieve this “ideal future.” I’d love to work from anywhere in the world, so I imagine myself blogging away on a white-sand beach. Since my brain has been primed with that vision, I’ve become hyper-aware of experiences and stories that I can channel into blog posts because I’ve trained my brain to focus on achieving that ideal goal!

The interesting thing about visualization is that it can be as powerful as actually doing what you’re thinking. In a fascinating study, piano players were divided in two groups. One group was told to physically practice, while the other was told to “mentally” practice by sitting in front of the piano and visualize playing it.

The takeaway was that in both groups there were identical physical changes in the brain and after three days their piano playing accuracy was exactly the same, regardless of how they practiced.

Start visualizing the future you want so your brain can help you focus on the things that will get you there!



Being able to control that voice in your head can make a huge difference in your life. That voice has the power to hold you back from success, from living life to your fullest and so much more! By practicing the mental habits of self-compassion, gratitude, focusing on goals and visualization you can get over your self-doubt and negative self-talk.

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3 Reasons To Just Stop Trying To Be Happy Already

3 Reasons To Just Stop Trying To Be Happy Already

how to be happy

Listen up.

This blog post will be a little different. It’s going to be a little harsh even. So expect some form of controversy.

Let me say it: Just stop trying to be happy already

Stop trying so darn hard. Just stop it.

I know you want to be happy. We all do. Happiness is that very thing we live for or gives our lives meaning.

But is happiness really there is to life? Should we only aim to be happy?

Well guess what you…

… you may be doing it wrong all along.

The chase is what you’re doing wrong

You can’t chase happiness. You just can’t.

It’ll be never ending, and with that, extremely taxing on you. Chasing happiness is simply loading yourself up with expectations thinking that you’ll be happy only if you get something.

But life doesn’t work that way. Why do you think so many people still feel so unhappy and unsatisfied despite working so hard to get what they initially wanted?

That’s why you shouldn’t try to be happy. Don’t even start with your head. Don’t start the thoughts that make you think you need a certain amount things to be happy.

Just stop it already. It’s time to relax.

You can’t filter reality

Many people today think that in order to be happy, it’s about blocking out the negativity or unhappiness others or the world bring to you.

To a certain extent, that is true, and it can work that way.

But you can’t filter reality. You shouldn’t make it your life’s work to prevent unhappiness in order to be happy.

That is  like trying to create this protective bubble around you, hoping that it wouldn’t burst at all.

That is how you get paranoid. That is how you become anxious and wish that life doesn’t change for you.

Just stop that already. Simply accept that this is life.

It’s not that life is bad. It’s just that things don’t go as planned all the time. THAT is life. Period.

So be cool. Maintain a balanced and healthy outlook on life. Don’t be deluded. The world’s problems aren’t your problems.

Keep your conscience clear at all times, and you’re good. That shouldn’t be hard, right?

Just be happy

Be it.

Happiness is a choice.

You know this!

Are you choosing it at all times? Are you taking responsibility for your emotions? Are you laying blame on others?

Are you still chasing?

Maybe it’s time you do something different. Everybody has been telling you to chase. Maybe it’s time you cut that out.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but that’s the point. It’s about doing something different so you can feel something different. 

Relax. Be your own person. You’re not a bad person. There’s nothing wrong with you. Do you not know that just by being yourself, life will appreciate you and want to GIVE you happiness?

So why chase? Why try so hard? Why put your body through so much?

Just stop already. Attract love, good vibes and happiness.

Just be.

Just for Pick The Brain Readers


Want to be happy today? Then my free book will help. I flip it around so you can drop the nonsense and start being happy!

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About! 

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Crush Your Goals: The 5 Essentials for Success

Crush Your Goals: The 5 Essentials For Success

how to crush your goals

Being an entrepreneur is exhilarating and fulfilling, am I right?

But let’s be honest…..sometimes it can be downright difficult and even feel like a guessing game. There are a lot of moving parts, and sometimes the ups-and-downs can be immensely draining. The hardest part is trying to put everything together…..to assemble the puzzle and create consistent growth, clarity, and structure.

So what do you do when your business isn’t where you think it should be?

All success starts with the right strategy. And strategy begins with planning.

CONFESSION: In my own online wellness business, I seriously struggled for the first six months.

What changed? I stopped going through the day blindly and started to map out my business planning. It was then that things started to turn around. I then experienced success unfolding in front of me: more website visitors, more social media followers, more clients, and ultimately, more profits.

Want to know what YOU should be focusing on in order to crush your goals and reach success? Read on for the crucial essentials.

The 5 Essentials for Business Planning Success

Planning Essential #1: Reflection
No, I don’t mean dwelling on the past. But you must use your prior experiences to move forward with clarity (and learn from your mistakes). Each new month, I ask myself, “What goals did I reach last month?” and “What lessons did I learn?” Use this reflection to leverage your planning.

Planning Essential #2: Intention
“Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely.” Jim Rohn was scary accurate with this quote. If you don’t create intention with your time, you risk wasting your most precious resource. Every action you take in your business should be with intent: what big business goals are you trying to reach? Create purpose everyday with your work.

Planning Essential #3: Goal Setting
Design your time for success by building actionable targets. But don’t overwhelm yourself: the brain can only reasonably process three things at a time. Write out three big business goals for yourself each week, and adapt your actions around reaching these goals. The key here is to write them down….whether you use a journal, planner, or just some random post-it notes, there is a big benefit that comes from the physical act of writing things down (it gets your ideas out of your head and on paper). Plus, you can place your goals in an easy-to-see spot, like right next to your computer or your alarm clock, and they’ll serve as a daily reminder.

Planning Essential #4: Statistics + Tracking
Map out your business and record your progress. Numbers MUST be tracked in your business, period. Track everything that has a number attached to it. This includes social media platforms, email subscribers, clients, income, and other business statistics. This is the only way to see if what you’re doing is working, and where you may have areas of opportunity. I write everything down on a weekly basis in my daybook.

Planning Essential #5: Effective Time Management
Yep, time management CAN be planned! In our crazy chaotic world of entrepreneurship, the only way to create structure is to map out your time commitments. Use a timetable to increment your time on a daily basis, so that whenever the clock strikes you know exactly what your focus is.

By following these five essentials, you not only plan out your business, but you map out your success with structure, clarity, and momentum.

Jessica Lauren DeBry is a former corporate employee turned successful Wellness Entrepreneur, Online Biz Mentor, and Creator of Savvy Biz Club, the free club for the female entrepreneur.

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