Overcoming Fear – 6 Steps that will Change Your life!

Freedom without a fear

Fear can be paralyzing. Fear can also be motivating.

The key to overcoming fear is to ultimately see it as an opportunity, and once you are able to do that, your fear no longer has control over your thought or your action. It is freedom that is truly life changing.

While many studies try to enumerate the most common fears people have, they tend to identify those that only grip us occasionally – spiders when we see one or fear one is near, heights when we have to climb or ride high. Sometimes, however, we have deep-seated fears that seem to be with us rather consistently, that have nothing to do with a physical thing – fear of failure, public speaking, rejection, change – and those things do rather control a lot of our behaviors.

Overcoming these, then, can set us on a much happier path and truly be life changing. And while there is no “magic bullet,” there are some important steps that will work!

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Give You Fear a Name

Identify and acknowledge your fear. Accept it as a real thing, and say it out loud – “I am afraid of _______.” Once you have identified it verbally, write it down. This will get it “out in the open” and you will actually “own” that fear (for the time being).

Give You Fear Some Parameters

When can you remember first having the fear? If you are afraid of financial failure, was there a time in your life, perhaps as a child, when your family experienced severe financial stress? If you are afraid of public speaking, did you have a bad experience with it, and when did that occur?

The next question you must ask is what triggers that fear now? What are the circumstances, events, situations, and/or people who cause that fear to bubble up? If you have a fear of failure, does that fear pop up when you gather with your family? Perhaps you feel like a failure because your sister or brother is doing so much better than you. Perhaps it is triggered at work, because you have tasks and you know you will be judged on them.

The third question in defining these parameters is what is the effect of this fear on you? Are you avoiding situations and events because of it? Identify the specific situations you are avoiding, because you will be using them later.

Is it Valid?

Some fears are absolutely valid. If you have never learned how to swim and you once almost drowned, fear of the water may be both real and valid. Maybe you fear walking alone at night because you have followed the news lately. That’s valid, and healthy too.

What makes a fear not valid is that it is not an imminent threat to you. It is a fear of what might be – failure, a “bombed” speech, or romantic rejection. And so you deliberately avoid events and situations so that you will not be impacted. Now the fear has control of you, and that is what has to stop.

Set Your Goals

Obviously, you have a goal to overcome your fear. Now you will set some smaller objectives with a timeline. Do you have a fear of meeting new people and/or social events? You will take just some small steps. Go to a small gathering with a friend you trust. Have him/her introduce you to a few others. Stay only a short time if you begin to feel anxious and fearful. It’s fine. You have taken that first step, and you know you can do it again. Gradually, you widen your social activities, and with each step, the fear goes away just a bit more.

Play Your Worst Case Scenario

Think about the worst thing that could happen if you confronted your fear? If you are afraid of speaking and you gave a speech that was not very good, would you die? Would you be a laughing-stock for the next month? Not hardly! If you had a couple of dates with the same person and were then rejected, would you be a failure in other aspects of your life? Not hardly.

Make Your Plan to Confront The Fear

Now that you know the worst case scenario will not result in death or dismemberment, it is time to develop a plan for confronting the fear, little steps at a time. Write a speech; practice it; present it to friends and/or family; get honest feedback; write another. Gradually, you will lose that panic; it will reduce to some anxiety; and then it will reduce some more. If you fear water, because you can’t swim and you almost drowned at some in the past, how do you confront that? You take little steps until you have enough confidence to take swimming lessons.

The thing about fear is this: it can only control you if you do nothing.

Woman Gracefully Falling & Jumping Of Tree In Field

About the author: Julie Ellis – passionate blogger, teacher and Chief Editor behind Premier Essay. Julie always opened for new contacts and ideas of cooperation. Follow her on Twitter or Google+

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9 Ways To Believe In Yourself

9 Ways To Believe In Yourself

Self-belief is one of the most important qualities of a happy and successful person. You can be the most beautiful and intelligent individual, strong athlete or clever entrepreneur, but without self-belief these qualities may never come out to the full extent. Self-belief is the foundation of your success both in life and work. In most cases, self-belief is something that we grow up with, but it doesn’t mean that we cannot develop this sense as adults. The following things can help you do that.

  1. Volunteer work

Many people prefer not to think about it and not to notice it. However, in any society, even in the most developed and successful one, there are always people who need help. It may be kids from an orphanage, homeless people on the streets, war veteran in your building, etc.

Try to make someone’s day a bit better. Nothing improves self-esteem and self-respect more than realizing that you’ve helped someone. Charity and volunteer work can help not only other people in solving their problems, but it can also help you to feel better about yourself.

  1. Make a list of your achievements

Do you bang your head against a brick wall being ready to give up in despair? Try to make a list of your personal winnings. There must have been difficult situations in your life and you found the way out. There must be some things that you are proud of. Making such a list will be a great psychological motivation that will help you believe in yourself.

  1. Surround yourself with people who believe in you

If there are many people around who constantly criticize you and bring you down, no wonder you cannot fly. Negative people can play a huge role in your life. Try to eliminate such people from your life or at least communicate with them only if you don’t have other choice. Instead, find friends with similar interests and values who will support you and make you better.

  1. Accept yourself

To believe in yourself, you first need to accept you for who you are. How can you believe in something you don’t fully accept? Accept your good qualities, acknowledge your flaws and maybe work on them. To believe in yourself, you have no other choice but to love yourself with all of your good and bad sides.

  1. Change your perspective

Stop focusing on negative things in your life. Concentrate on everything that is good and positive around you and be grateful for that. Every time you want to complain about all the hardships and unfairness in your life, try to find at least something good in every bad situation and it will be much easier for you to progress.

  1. Step-by-step victories

It is impossible to start believing in yourself if you fail in every undertaking. Maybe, life gives you very difficult tasks; maybe you underestimate your strength. In this case, you need to find a real and doable task for you. Start with small things. It is better to have small winnings step by step and to progress than to take big initiations and fail every time.

  1. Study yourself

Francis Bacon said that knowledge is power. He was surely right. If you don’t know how to deal with some issue, you usually learn all the information that can help you solve this problem. If you have some inner problems, the first thing to do is to study yourself.

Reading psychological and motivational literature, attending seminars, courses or classes on personal growth can help you get a better understanding of yourself and the issues you are dealing with. Learn, research, think. The knowledge of how the world and people work can bring you peace and confidence.

  1. Have your own goals

Try to make an inventory of the goals you have for the next year, five years or your whole life. Evaluate every one of them. Is this really your own goal or just a picture from a popular magazine? Do you really want this or was it thrust on you by your spouse, boss or society? Maybe instead of traveling around the tropic jungle you want to lock yourself in a cozy room and write a novel. Or maybe you want to exchange your stuffed office for a farm house and grow vegetables there.

You can start believing in yourself only if you are fully honest about your true desires. Don’t waste your life on living someone else’s dream and start respecting your own wishes.

  1. Stop comparing yourself to other people

Your appearance, achievements, salary and other things should not be compared to other people’s ones. Everyone has his or her own way, goals and results. Don’t waste your time, emotions and energy to compete with everyone around. Do what you do and be the best version of yourself.

Believing in yourself is what every person needs. Try to find this faith and never let it go. Good luck!

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The post is written by Jana Rookard, an adventurous writer, blogger and public speaker. She works as a team writer at EssayJedii service and travels around the world to collect interesting material for her writing.

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The 10 Best Effects of Exercise on Stress

Stress and exercise photo

We can’t control everything that happens in our lives. Of course, not being able to control certain issues doesn’t stop us from worrying about them. Whether it is related to work, family issues, money problems, personal relationships, or one of the thousands of other nebulous fears that constantly keep us wide awake at night, stress is an unhappy fact of human life.  Unfortunately, stress can lead to bigger problems than just a few hours of missed sleep. Aside from causing fatigue, headaches, and digestive problems, stress also contributes to depression and cardiovascular disease, which can lead to a shortened lifespan. The good news is that there are things that you can do to help lower your stress level. Exercising daily can be a great way to help keep everything in perspective, and can act as a regular stress-reducer. Here’s how:

Reduced Tension

A 30-minute workout will not erase all of life’s pressures, but it will provide a healthy outlet for anger and frustration, as well as a distraction from negative thought cycles. Do you feel like there’s nothing that you can do to face down the issues that are upsetting you? Direct that frustration at an exercise machine, and feel the catharses that comes from letting it all pour out.

Elevated Mood

Do you sometimes feel as though you’re trapped under a dark cloud of depression? Being physically active release endorphins, which act as a natural mood lifter. The effects of regular exercise on depression can be as profound as medication.

Sharper Thinking

Endorphins produced by exercise also sharpen mental processes and improve concentration. Being active encourages the growth of new brain cells, which can help combat the stress related to the mental decline that many people experience as they grow older.

Increased Self-Esteem

Exercise is an investment, not only in stress reduction and better health, but also of feeling powerful and in control. A better mood combined with an attractive appearance gives a boost in self-worth, and promotes feelings of achievement.

Improved Sleep

If you have trouble drifting off to sleep at night, there’s a good chance that the cause of your insomnia is stress. Stress often brings on sleep difficulties, which can lead to other problems if not addressed quickly. Short periods of activity in the early or middle part of the day may help a person return to normal sleep patterns. Those who prefer night exercise can perform gentle stretching or engage in yoga.

Higher Energy

Your body is an amazing machine; the more you use it, the more efficient it becomes. Increasing the heart rate a few days per week ratchets stress down while providing a higher energy level. Even a few minutes of exercise can make a big difference. This is especially true with proper nutrition and supplementation. Some people worry that this will cost more but usually the opposite happens, healthy food is inexpensive, and while I take expensive supplements such as Progenex, you can find inexpensive ones that are adequate on Amazon.

Better Coping

The mental and emotional benefits of physical activity include better coping skills. When the body is not run down from overwhelming stress, it is better able to cope with life’s challenges.

Stronger Immunity

Stress is hard on the body, which directly affects immune function. Chronic stress can result in more colds and flu and generally feeling tired. Exercising each day can strengthen the immune system and create a stronger defense against illness.

Better Relationships

Stress takes a toll on relationships both at work and at home. Irritability and depression can create distance between co-workers and family members. Exercise offers the opportunity to decompress from a difficult day, allowing for positive connections with family and friends.

Fitter Body

While increased fitness is an obvious benefit of exercise, it also removes the stigma of being overweight and not being able to keep up with others. Stress often causes overeating, and the resulting weight gain leads to more stress. Exercising regularly breaks this cycle and creates a more beautiful body to go with a happier mind.

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Ryan Blair is a freelance writer who has spent 12 years in the fitness industry doing just about everything including personal training for 6 years.  He now spends his time combining his love of writing with his experience in fitness.  If you want to contact him you can do so at: https://www.linkedin.com/pub/ryan-blair/a5/230/674

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The Secret Your Meditation Teacher Won’t Tell You

The Secret Your Meditation Teacher Won't Tell You

meditation health benefits

You’ve read enough about mindfulness to give meditation a shot alone at home, but there’s something missing. Sometimes it’s as simple as not knowing if you’re doing it right, sometimes it’s the sense that it should be harder than it seems to be.

Your mind won’t stop wandering.

An in-person meditation might be in order. You’ve found a Sangha and you’ve showed up. You are so eager to enrich your experience or overcome the shyness of meditating alone – that you walk into the studio unprepared.

You have a cushion, sure. You’re wearing loose clothing and trying to “pre-meditate” by putting the day behind you so you’re not distracted once you begin –

But you’re unprepared for the hardest part: walking into a studio filled with people who all look at peace, who all look happy, who all exude the calm that you’ve been hoping to achieve but are secretly afraid you can’t.

And you know they’re all looking at you.

You’re suddenly naked in the high school cafeteria.

And deep down, you wonder if you are the first person in the history of meditation to resent other people for being good at it.

Here’s a secret: almost all of us think that – at first. Until we realize the one simple truth of group meditation:

Everyone thinks the person next to them is better at meditating.

It’s actually kind of a thing among Buddhists. After all, the history of Buddhism is full of examples of monks chasing out the newbie who gets enlightened before they do.

But it shouldn’t be important who is further along! Why is it a competition?

Those are questions perfect people with gentle smiles ask. Those of us beginning meditation can’t ask them because we’re not perfect. If we were perfect we probably wouldn’t be at the community center’s multipurpose room at 8pm on a Monday.

There’s an easy way to take the pressure off yourself.

First, remember that most people meditating in a studio are a lot more concerned about their own struggles than with yours. But once you get over the cafeteria feeling, you know that.

Then, smile a lot, of course, take your seat as you are able, and get to the point where everyone’s closed their eyes.

Then, sometime about ten minutes into the meditation,

GO AHEAD AND PEEK

Do it. Open your eyes slowly and look a bit. No need to move your head. Just have a good long peek.

What are you going to see?

The answer isn’t “the guy next to you picking his nose.” Probably. What you’ll likely see is everyone with their eyes closed. When you peek you see people not peeking. That’s how it tends to work.

If you’re wondering if this is only going to prove that you are the one who doesn’t belong there, think again.

By seeing people NOT peek, you give your brain permission to close your eyes without pressure.
Your meditating brain knows that a lot more people than you consciously realize are going to peek during their meditation too. And the chances are, they will see you, sitting still, eyes closed, and they’ll imagine, if only for a second, that you’re doing it better than they are. It takes a long time before we’re immune to those insecurities in meditation.

If the worst thing in the world happens and someone else is looking at you when you peek, you smile and give a little nod. You caught each other. You belong. Close your eyes and feel how welcome you are. Don’t worry about the instructor seeing you. She sees everything anyway, and it’s her job not to judge.

When you force yourself to meditate out of ego – constantly telling yourself “I must keep still, I must stop my mind from wandering, I mustn’t look around” – then you’re going to have a rougher go of it. You might wrestle the Buddha only once or twice before giving up.

It doesn’t have to be that hard. If you can turn your beginner’s impulses into a way of knowing you belong – as a sign that you’re in the right place, learning the right skills, among people who are just as eager to find peace as you are – then you increase your chances of coming back.

It is always in the coming back where meditation occurs. Tweet: It is always in the coming back where meditation occurs. #wrestlingthebuddha

Give it a try. Sit with a group, enjoy where the meditation is taking you, and give yourself permission to take a good peek when the impulse arrives. You’ll find that you’re suddenly as far away from the high school cafeteria as you’ve ever been.

Then return to the breath. Because you’ll want to.

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Michael Wurth has practiced Buddhism for over 20 years. He is also a Nationally Certified Counselor with Master’s Degrees in Comparative Literature and Counseling Psychology, and an award-winning filmmaker. He teaches overwhelmed people how rewrite the stories in their heads that are holding them back. Check out his free instruction sheet Why Science Doesn’t Understand Meditation – But You Do! to discover how much you can influence your world at www.wrestlingthebuddha.com

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Want To Become Super Productive? Stop Doing These 5 Stupid Activities

Want To Become Super Productive? Stop Doing These 5 Stupid Things Right Now

super productive

You are exhausted.

Another late work night is about to end…

NOT because it´s late…

NOT because you have completed all your important tasks…

but because your brain has stopped to function properly.

(And it probably did several coffee cups ago).

No matter what you do, you can´t keep up with your never-ending growing to do list.

The only thing you know for sure…

is that if you don´t handle the situation NOW…

you will become BURNED OUT.

Sounds familiar?

No worries, I´ve been there too.

Relax. I got your back.

When you want to fix a problem, it´s not necessarily about starting doing new activities.

The solution can actually be to stop doing existing activities.

Want To Become Super Productive? Stop Doing These 5 Stupid Activities

1. Plan as you go

Perhaps it worked in fifth grade to just wing your tests without impacting your grades in a negative way.

However, you are now in the grownups class in productivity, and if you really want to become among the best, winging it just won´t cut it anymore.

They say that every minute spent in execution will save you ten minutes in planning.

If you don´t plan your day and week, you will just be responding to other people´s requests.

Your schedule will actually NOT be your schedule. It will be THEIR schedule.

You might as well put on a cap with a big red L in the front (L standing for loser).

And you don´t want that, right?

Good, I didn´t think so.

So this is what you SHOULD do.

Start planning your day a week in advance. If that might be bit too hardcore for you in the start, no worries. At least start with planning the next day the night before.

Then you should have ONE master to do list. That means that you will only be using ONE to do list. Tasks that are NOT included in your to do list, won´t get done.

Then over to how to prioritize the tasks on your to do list.

It´s important to NOT…

2. Categorize your tasks as if they are all equally important

Few activities can cripple your productivity more than to categorize your tasks as if they are all equally important.

That means that you will be working on the wrong type of tasks most of the time. As Brian Tracy says, if you believe all your tasks are equally important, NONE of your tasks are important.

Use the 80/20 rule (also known as Pareto´s law) to determine which type of tasks you should prioritize. It says that 20% of your most important tasks will result in 80% of the total production value.

If you have 10 tasks on your to do list for the day, and you manage to complete only the 2 most important tasks, that will result in 80% of the total production value.

That is pretty cool, right?

In other words, as long as you are able to identify and complete the 20% of the most important task every single day, you will be extremely productive, and way ahead of the rest.

Another stupid activity that will pull your productivity down into the mud is to…

3. Say yes to all unreasonable requests

We only have 24 hours in our day, and your time is your most valuable asset. The big difference between very successful people and you is how you have spent your time.

Donald Trump doesn´t have any more hours in his day. He just spends it better. Do you think that he is planning every single day? You bet, he does.

You should really protect your 24 hours each day like it was food for your family. Every time you give away an hour, you give away a meal for your family. In other words, you should be very selective on how you spend your time.

By that I mean that you actually should start saying no to unreasonable requests. Every time you say yes to a request, you automatically say no to other activities.

I know it can be hard in the start to say no, and you probably feel uncomfortable doing it. However, once you get the hang of it, you will be able to protect your time better, so you can spend it on the activities that TRULY matter…

your family and friends.

The next activity most people have heard about, but few people fully understand how it can poison your productivity.

4. Working longer hours believing it will cure all problems

Working longer hours won´t cure anything. Of course, there might be days that you really need to do a long night. However, it should be the exception and not the norm.

Studies have shown that the majority of people are the most productive during the 2 first hours after they get out of bed. This may of course vary from person to person. Some people are the most productive in the evening and other people are night owls.

You should find out at what time of the day YOU are the most productive, and block that time out to work on your most important tasks.

Building your career is like building your muscles in the gym. You shouldn´t do several training sessions per day (at least not if you are a beginner). And if the training sessions are too long, they will have a negative effect on your overall training.

Why?

Because your body needs time to rest. Only by resting will your body strengthen your muscle fibers and replenish your strength and energy.

By training too much, you may tear a muscle or hurt a joint, and then you won´t be able to train for several weeks.

Yeah, I´ve been there. I used to train 8 times each week, and my primary goal was to fight in the cage (yeah, it was mixed martial arts, like the UFC). Long story short, I trained with the best trainers in Norway: kickboxing 2 times per week, Brazilian jiu jitsu 2 times per week, boxing training 1 time per week and running 3 times per week.

What happened? After a while, I got big problems with my ankle and I couldn´t train for 6 weeks. So my when I started training again, my shape was really bad.

You might be thinking, “Okay, Tor, I get it. Working longer hours isn´t good. What should I do?”

Good question.

You should increase your productivity, which will help you to INCREASE RESULTS while working FEWER HOURS.

How can that be done?
Plan your day in advance, use the 80/20 rule to work on your most important tasks WHEN you are the most productive during your day, say no to unreasonable request and avoid…

5. Being easily distracted

Few things are making you procrastinate MORE than you being easily distracted.

Imagine that you are going to write an important article, and suddenly your mom calls and asks you if you want to come over for dinner on Saturday. 10 minutes later your friend knocks on the door wanting you to join him for a concert on Friday night. A few minutes later, your neighbor is at the door asking to borrow some flour.

You get the point.

You will get VERY little time working on your article.

They say that the person who is able to focus on one single thought for 2 minutes straight, will be able to accomplish anything.

In order to become super productive, you need to be able to focus.

Nothing will turbocharge your productivity more than you being able to work focused on ONE single task at a time until it´s completed.

Here´s what to do next…

Okay, you know that in order to become super productive you have to actually take a look at your existing activities and habits.

Let´s say that you want to bake the perfect cake, and you are experimenting in the kitchen.

It´s not necessarily about constantly ADDING new ingredients to each new version of the cake…

the solution might be to REMOVE some of the existing ingredients.

The same goes for your productivity.

What´s your experience with doing the wrong activities regarding your productivity?

What happened when you stopped doing them?

This is a guest post by Tor Refsland. Tor decided to leave his six-figure job in order to follow his passion – to help online entrepreneurs SAVE TIME and INCREASE RESULTS. Want to become more productive? Download his free eBook and learn how to DOUBLE your productivity in 7 days.

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7 Rituals to Help You Move Heaven and Earth

7 Rituals To Help You Move Heaven & Earth

The things that we do to help ourselves only have ongoing positive effects if we make them into habits. Positive change is even more profound and more permanent when those habits become rituals. What is the difference between a habit and a ritual? A habit is simply something that you do on a regular basis without the need to force yourself to do so. A ritual is something that you are compelled to do because it is meaningful to you, and you feel a deficit in your life when you when that ritual goes missing. If you are seeking overall life improvement that is permanent, try these 7 (one representing each day of the week) rituals.

  1. Reward Yourself with an Hour of Physical Activity Each Day

Yes, reward yourself. After all, what could possibly have a higher pay out than increased health and longevity? If that sounds a bit “rah-rah” for your tastes, that’s okay. Physical activity isn’t fun for everybody, but if you commit to it, you will begin to feel better. That feeling can lead to a habit, and that habit could become a ritual. Here are some examples of exercises that a beginner can use to get started.

Why should you commit to an hour? Because it sends a message to others, and yourself that you are worth a solid sixty minutes of time.

 2. Pick a New Healthy Eating Habit Each Month: Then Implement it Daily

When it comes to eating habits, the worst thing is an epiphany. This is because most diet related epiphanies aren’t really epiphanies at all. They are simply temporary and dramatic reactions to moments of frustration about the way we look and feel. Ultimately, there are no epiphanies here. As adults, we know what is good for us and what is bad for us to put into our bodies. So, instead of swearing off sugar altogether or becoming a vegan in one day, why not make a single commitment each month to adopting one healthy eating habit and then acting on that commitment every single day.

  1. Make a Significant Weekly Commitment to Personal Education and Enrichment

If you are not able to create a habit or ritual out of anything else, please work on this step. There is nothing you can do that can improve your life in more ways than to focus on your own educational development. Once upon a time, it was very common for corporations to allow employees 4 hours each week for personal education and development. Why not give yourself the gift of that time each week.

  1. Consciously Disconnect Once a Week

 You owe yourself and those who interact with you, a commitment to spend time each week away from your phone, computer, tablet, and other devices. Believe it or not, your brain really does need a break from that kind of stimulation in order to stay sharp and focused.

5. Commit to a Project

Yes, you are busy. Yes you get a lot done during the day. You still need a project. It can be anything that you wish, but it should be something that obligate yourself to work on regularly. The focus of your project should be your own enjoyment and development. If your project becomes a means by which you connect with a loved one, this is also a good thing. One final rule, you are not allowed to beat yourself up over the progress that you are making. You can only criticize yourself for not dedicating the time that you should be.

  1. Embrace a One thing in One thing Out Mentality: Then Make it Happen

Clutter has such a horrible impact on productivity. We know that people have different approaches to organization, but the beauty of one thing in one thing out is that it can work for anybody. The basic concept is that for every new thing that comes into your life, you send another thing away. Could this concept be applied metaphysically? Sure it could, but for now spending a bit of time each week finding things to donate, pitch, or repurpose is a great way to balance out what you have consumed. Eventually, some people find their ritual in the purging of goods. Others crave the process of donating items or making them into something new.

7.Write Each Days To-Do List as if You’ve Already Accomplished it

 There is nothing more important than what you tell yourself. Start with your to-do list. Phrases such as “need to” “want to” or “must do” give you permission to push things off as either being optional or something that can wait. On the other hand, phrases like “I can”, “I Have”, and “I did” will promote a feeling of obligation to reach your goals.

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I’m a writer, but I was an athlete in the past and it has influenced on my outlook on life. I’m extremely active person and pet lover. I work at an essay writing company.

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21 Ways to Practice Compassion

21 Ways To Practice Compassion

compassion helping hand“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

Ahimsa is the practice of being compassionate. Ahimsa is translated to mean without injury. I think of Ahimsa as the minimization or harm. Sometimes referred to as non-violence, Ahimsa is one of the cardinal virtues associated with Jainism, Hinduism, and Buddhism.

In many Indian life philosophies, ahimsa is inspired by the premise that all living beings all have the remnants of the vital life energy. And as the Dalai Lama words convey, to experience true and lasting happiness in this world, we are to treat other living creatures the way we would like to be treated.

Compassion can be defined as a response to the suffering other sentient beings that motivates or inspires another to offer assistance or help. Compassion moves people to offer physical, spiritual, or emotional help to the pain or struggle of other people or sentient beings.

As people’s mindsets, economies, and governments change, practicing compassion in the world today is critically important is shaping a sustainable future for the next seven generations to come. Here are some ways that we all can practice compassion in our daily lives.

  • Practice inclusivity. Include more people in the conversation.
  • Eat consciously. Track down where your food comes from. Research how your food gets to your plate. Make informed, compassionate choices.
  • Let go of self-sabotaging belief systems.
  • Use affirmative language. Repeat to yourself as many times as it takes and convince yourself that you are a truly compassionate person.
  • Be forgiving and understanding.
  • Hug people more frequently. Hug people for longer amounts of time.
  • Be kind to yourself. Care take of your body and mind.
  • Be generous. Look for charitable organizations to give money to.
  • Express appreciation. Be thankful. Cultivate a mentality of gratitude.
  • Spend your money at businesses that are ethical and sustainable.
  • If you see a person on the street who appears homeless, give money to the person and be non-attached to the idea of what the person will use the money for.
  • Smile more frequently.
  • Allow people to be themselves.
  • Avoid judging other people’s behaviors that you do not agree with.
  • See the similarity in difference.
  • Focus on the commonalities between people.
  • Be mindful. Focus on the breath.
  • Practice seated meditation.
  • Spend time immersed in nature.
  • Be of service to other people.
  • Treat all humans with respect and dignity.

I hope this has been helpful to you or at least triggered a thought or two. Consider sharing other ways of making the world a better place through compassionate living. Namaste.

Christopher Bueker is a mindfulness teacher, Yoga instructor, blogger, and public speaker; he teaches at various Yoga studio and centers in Cincinnati, Ohio. Christopher is passionate about community building, healthy living, and permaculture. More information can be found at his website, The Mindful Communicator at ChristopherBueker.com.

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3 Bulletproof Reasons Why Happiness Is More Important Than Success

3 Bulletproof Reasons Why Happiness Is More Important Than Success

happiness over success

Reason #1: Success Won’t Do You Any Good If You Are Not Happy

Drug addiction. Alcoholism. Inappropriate, violent, and bizarre behavior. Negative spotlight from the media.

These are all situations and problems that many of the world’s most glorified and successful celebrities often find themselves in after making it to the top. It’s almost expected now for the stereotypical teen or preteen pop star to tumble into a downward spiral of addiction, bizarre behavior, and acting out.

Having your talents, services, skills, and beauty appreciated by the world is a powerful experience that can improve your happiness. But quite often, that’s not case. Super-success often drains the successful of their happiness, joy and enthusiasm for life.

Celebrities like Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Whitney Houston, and Michael Jackson are all tragic examples of this powerful truth. Success Won’t Do You Any Good If You Are Not Happy.

If the end-goal of your hard work is to find happiness after you succeed, chances are you might get the opposite of what you’re looking for. You might climb your way to the top only to realize that you aren’t any happier than you were when you started. You might even spiral into a depression. Because chasing success in hopes of finding happiness at the top is a recipe for sadness.

It makes sense that super-success often breeds sadness or disaster. Because what’s worse than having everything you could ever dream of and realizing that none of it makes you happy?

Reason #2: Happiness Is The End-Goal Of All Human Behavior

The good news is there is a simple way to avoid becoming another tragic celebrity success-story-gone-wrong. Find your happiness first. Create a high quality of genuine happiness, joy, and enthusiasm for life before you succeed.

Doing so will make all the difference. Because Happiness Is More Important Than Success.

Out of everything that you can accomplish in life, finding fulfillment is the highest end that you will ever achieve. Happiness is the end-goal of all human behavior.

Positive Psychologist Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar explains this idea in his book Happier: “Happiness the highest on the hierarchy of goals, the end toward which all other ends lead … Wealth, fame, admiration, and all other goals are subordinate and secondary to happiness; whether our desires are material or social, they are means toward one end: happiness.”

So whether you realize it or not, the desire to be happy is the underlying goal that motivates every item on your list of goals and ambitions—whether it’s finding your dream romantic partner, becoming an entrepreneur, earning millions of dollars, starting a family, moving to Spain, becoming famous, or buying a car. Everything that you do is motivated by that underlying desire to be happy. So why not just put happiness first?

Reason #3: Finding Happiness First Can Boost Your Success

Society often conditions us to believe that success is the most important goal there is. Though success is a powerful, important, and positive experience that we should all strive for, it isn’t the most important accomplishment you can achieve in life. Happiness is.

You should make it a point to focus on happiness first in your life because fulfillment not only improves your health but can also boost your success.

The world often conditions us to think that true happiness takes place after we build our success. But that approach to achievement is backwards.

As TED speaker and Positive Psychologist Shawn Achor confirms with research in The Happiness Advantage, a happy state of mind is not a reward for succeeding. It’s an advantage—a competitive edge for getting ahead.

That’s right. Genuine happiness is your brain’s highest potential for motivation, top performance, work ethic, productivity, and achievement.

So the best way to be successful is to take Achor’s advice and find ways to be as happy as possible in the present moment. Put happiness first.

Make a point to create a high quality of genuine happiness, enthusiasm, and joy for life. Exercise more. Practice gratitude—a proven happiness-booster—on a daily basis. Set some time aside every morning or evening to write down three or more events or situations of your day that you feel grateful for. Pick a career that feeds your happiness as your chosen craft. Go places, enjoy experiences, and spend time with people that bring more fulfillment into your life. Put happiness first.

In doing so, you will avoid becoming another tragic celebrity-success-story-gone-wrong. You will accomplish the highest goal of all human behavior. And you’ll be more successful because of it.

——

Bo Muchoki is an up-and-coming self-help writer. He is a 2011 graduate from The University of Maryland and the author of a forthcoming book titled Know Yourself: A Guide To Fulfilling A Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.
To learn more about Bo Muchoki and read more of his motivational writing, please check out his blog at http://www.MuchokiMotivation.com

 

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9 Things Happy People Are Super Chill With

9 Things Happy People Are Super Chill With

how to be happy

If you want to be happy, you’ve got to be CHILL.

You can’t sweat the small stuff. You can’t be pissed off all the time. You can’t let other people get to you. You also definitely can’t think everything is going to go wrong!

In other words, you’ve to chill!

Here are 10 things happy people are super chill with:

1) Sarcastic or offensive jokes

Supposedly, these jokes are out to offend, but happy people don’t let it get to them.

They know it’s joke. That’s it! Nothing more, nothing less.  What do they do with it then? They laugh. They appreciate the humor and maybe even joke back a little.

Unhappy people on the other hand, would analyze the joke just to see if they should be offended.

2) Uncontrollable circumstances

Like the weather or bad traffic conditions.

Happy people know that these things happen and that it can’t be helped. It’s nobody’s fault, so they don’t try to take it out on others, perhaps through blaring their horn in the car.

Instead, they try to look at the bright side of things or at the very least, start to find a solution.

3) Rejection

Happy people understand that rejection does not mean failure, be it being turned down for a job or if that gorgeous girl at the bar doesn’t want to give out her phone number.

They take it as a another lesson and step to success. They learn from it. They understand that being rejected doesn’t entirely mean it’s their fault. They’re chill with the situation and will simply try again.

4) Time

That means to say, they don’t rush for it all the damn time.

I personally find that in today’s society, people are always in a rush. We think that we “have” to make good time all the time. Hence, missing the bus or train would mean the end of the world.

Happy people don’t rush. They know missing on a few minutes here and there isn’t going to affect their life. In fact, by taking a slower pace, they find new things to do, like reading a book on the train even though they choose to take a later one during non-peak hours.

5) Love

Happy people are chill with love. They don’t find love. They simply do what they love and let people come to them.

It works that way honestly. So chill! The right one will come along when you stop trying so darn hard.

6) Emotions

Happy people are calm people.

Sure, they feel anger, sadness, frustration and other negative emotions from time to time, but that doesn’t mean they act at the heat of the moment.

They don’t lash out when they’re angry. They don’t start bawling when they’re sad.

They relax first. They chill out. They calm themselves down first and start thinking things through.

7) With the state of the world

The state of the world can be a pretty negative one, especially if you’re obsessed with reading the news. It can be hard to be happy, especially if you choose to be influence or worse, become paranoid.

Happy people recognize that the state of the world is what it is. They also know that it is not their fault.

They don’t let the news get to them. Instead, they try to help others.

8) Money

Money is important, but ultimately, it’s whether you want to chase it or not. And happy people don’t chase money.

More so, they know that money, or the number on your bank account doesn’t equate to happiness.

They spend to be happy. They save just enough to be happy too. And when they’re running low, they don’t panic. They just do what it takes to make it all back.

9) Getting the work done

Happy people know that results take time, so they’re patient. They’re chill.

They also know that getting stressed out isn’t going to be productive, so they work on it step by step.

And most of all, they don’t compare their accomplishments and success with others. They ignore them. They focus on their own journey instead. They’re chill, and even happy for others.

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Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About! 

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This Habit Will Put You in the Top 1% of Experts and Money-Makers

reading

What if you could become an international expert and top earner with ONE habit for only ONE hour per day?

This one strategy changed everything for me.

I used to be a huge TV junkie. I still have a few favorites on Netflix that I turn to when I need a distraction.

But once I learned that doing this instead could make me more successful and open up tons of opportunities, I made the switch.

Before I get to that, check out these statistics:

  • 25% of people have not read a book in the last year
  • 46% of adults score in the lowest two levels of literacy
  • Reading frequency declines after age eight

What’s the message?

That most people don’t read. Half of adults are basically illiterate, and 1 out of 4 adults haven’t read a book in the last year. Look at the last statistic: “Reading one hour per day in your chosen field will make you an international expert in 7 years.”

In other words, reading leads to expertise. And expertise leads to success.

See where I’m going? The magic formula is to be among the very few adults who actually read. It’s no secret that if you read, you will learn.

But you can do even better. What if you commit to reading at least 1 hour every day? How about 1 book per week?

According to Brian Tracy:

“If you read only one book per month, that will put you into the top 1% of income earners in our society. But if you read one book per week, 50 books per year, that will make you one of the best educated, smartest, most capable and highest paid people in your field. Regular reading will transform your life completely.”

What have we learned so far?

  • Most people don’t read
  • If you read 1 hour per day, you can quickly become an expert
  • If you read 1 book per month, you can be in the top 1% of income earners
  • If you read 1 book per week, you can be one of the most successful people in the world

Simple, right?

You: “Great idea. But…I have no time to read one book every week!”

Ah, there’s that problem. The whole “not enough time” thing. I’ve found that if I know why I want to do X instead of Y, it makes X more important, which motivates me to do it.

Try this. Write down a list of 10 things you do every day that take up at least 30 minutes. For example:

  • Watching TV — 3 hours
  • Browsing the web — 1 hour
  • Using social media – 1 hour
  • Playing video games (or game apps) — 2 hours
  • Driving to get lunch or coffee (instead of making your own) — 1 hour

You’ll be surprised to discover that you probably have 3-6 hours of things you could easily do less of.

Then, imagine yourself 6 months from now as an expert in your field. Idle conversation won’t get you there. Watching TV won’t get you there.

But reading will get you there.

Successful German film director Werner Herzog said, “Those who read own the world, and those who watch television lose it.”

Now that you know that reading (X) is more valuable to you than your chosen time-waster (Y), take these steps TODAY to start reading more:

  1. Identify 1 hour every day where you can eliminate or reduce one of your time-wasting activities
  2. Create a daily “Read for 1 hour” calendar reminder that blocks off that hour
  3. Go to your bookshelf and find 4 books to start reading (or buy physical or ebooks online)
  4. Stack the books next to your favorite reading spot to make it really hard to ignore
  5. Move all of your digital devices AWAY from your reading spot
  6. Read every day for an hour
  7. BONUS STEP: Put a pen and notebook (waiter’s pad or Moleskine) on the stack of books so you can write down the hundreds of ideas you’ll get from reading

You: “OK, but what should I read?”

In his book The Choose Yourself Guide to Wealth, James Altucher (one of the most successful people out there) shares his daily reading formula. It’s a great place to start. Every day, read:

  • 10% of a nonfiction book to get ideas
  • 10% of an inspirational book
  • 10% of a high-quality fiction book
  • BONUS: Read a game-related book (or play a mental game like chess)

This should take you about an hour (or two if you’re feeling ambitious). If you do the math, that’s 30% of a book every day, or 1-2 books per week.

As for the specific books, here are some ideas:

  • Google the “favorite books” of your favorite successful people
  • Ask people you admire what they read
  • Follow your interests
  • I put together a list of resources if you want some more ideas

As Thomas Corley puts it in Rich Habits: “Successful people are slaves to their good daily habits.”

Become a slave to your new reading habit. Then you’ll be smarter. That will make you an expert. Which leads to success.

————

Philip Pape - howtoattainsuccess.com

Philip Pape is an author, software engineer, public speaker, and life-hacker who helps smart people become totally confident. He specializes in effective, counter-intuitive strategies for success. Check out his approach and get free content by clicking here. Follow Philip on Twitter @philip_pape. He is the founder of howtoattainsuccess.com.

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